Cinq-re Bleues
The Week In Ball
Maybe I've been blinkered but I feel like not much has happened in the wider world of football over the past week? There have been a few smaller but decent transfers; Neco Williams to Nottingham Forest who are doing some really good Premier League prep, Kevin Mbabu has gone from Wolfsburg to Fulham and Dortmund have nabbed Sebastien Haller as a Haaland replacement.
Of course there have been many more moves and many more still mooted so when anything big happens I'll mention those too. (Ed: Pogba has literally just been confirmed by Juve).
One quick thing to mention of course is that Gabriel Jesus made his Arsenal debut in a friendly against FC Nürnberg and scored a brace. Glory be! A striker who scores!
On the other end of the scale, in utterly depressing news, last week saw a Premier League player arrested at an address in Barnet on suspicion of rape. Further charges were then added for additional historic assaults.
I suppose it tracks that out of a population of many thousands some of those would be abusers, as we know rape happens all the time in the wider world and of course the environment doesn't help, but it doesn't make it land any lighter when it happens, especially not when it's alledged that the player's club knew of the allegations at the start of last season. For me this is the worst part of it all. Yes the man in question has done something appalling but the fact he's been protected is truly heinous (not worse but more an indictment of the culture in which he perpetrated his crimes).
Another especially jarring thing is that it was revealed as many other players backed the #NotHerProblem campaign against online sexism, a different beast perhaps but this stuff is all interwoven.
Euro 2022
It's here! It's here!
The Women's Euro 2022 kicked off on Wednesday with an opener between England and Austria.
I was lucky enough to be at the game and it was a truly exceptional atmosphere. There are some conversations to have about accessibility and the state of the ground but I'll save those for the moment, for now let's talk about the game and the crowd.
Initially I was excited but perhaps, for my sins, not quite as stoked as I had been for the Euro 2020. My knowledge of the teams and the players was thin but I went in as a willing learner, excited to just soak up the atmosphere and get to fill in my knowledge gaps.
The scenes at Old Trafford when we arrive were fantastic. It was windy as hell but everyone was there, blowing on their trumpets (they weren't vuvuzela I don't think but I can't think of the actual name for them?), drumming and just excitedly buzzing. There was absolutely zero edge to the crowd, it was simply happy and full of anticipation.
An aside here to say that I think it's important not to try and push women's football into a box of sweet and friendly and soft. There needs to be edge, passion and aggression on the pitch, team rivalries need to exist, officials and managers need to be taken to task but what's nice not to feel is the threat of violence. Men's football unfortunately has that powder keg atmosphere often where you can spend time feeling nervous that something might kick off and this frightens many people who may find joy in watching the game live. Where we always say that football is for all, for the most part women's football espouses this in a way that men's football doesn't.
Anyway, back to the game in question.
The opening ceremony was lovely, simple but oddly moving, I felt choked up on several occasions. Also there were flamethrowers, on the pitch, far far away from our seats and yet... it was boiling! You could feel the heat all the way up in the top tier.
Then the teams came out and the crowd went wild
AND THEN THE MOMENT WE WERE ALL WAITING FOR
As I correct myself in the replies it was in fact Tiny Car's cousin, Tiny Buzz and we love her. I know I excessively use the crying emoji but Tiny Buzz did bring a tear to the eye. What a privilege to see her in the flesh 😭
As you can see our seats were amazing, I was literally on the half way line and had a perfect view of the action, however as I alluded to earlier there were issues in getting to them.
Before attending the game I'd looked up the seat and knew it was high up and roughly what the view would be, however at no point until I was literally standing in front of the sign advising of this, did I know it would be an eight (8) floor climb of 170 steps to get up there. Coupled with an extremely snug turnstile that meant I had to be let in via a side door, this did not get the experience off to a good start for me (I will say though that the staff were all fantastic). I got to the top but not without several rests and for the last two flights of stairs you became funnelled into single file, making it impossible to stop and allow someone fitter to go past. I was not the only one to get to the top sweating and yelling obscenities! Everyone making it through the door looked like they wanted to die.
There was a lift, which I was able to take down at the end (people who claim going down stairs will be easier have better knees and better balance than I), but you needed a pre-arranged ticket to take it up. In some ways I'm probably grateful it was a surprise as I'd have been panicking about it for a year if not but it does seem a misstep to not let people know in advance and give them options.
I've also heard complaints of lack of wifi which is ridiculous for journalists and also the wider public, the signal at the ground was patchy at best, non-existent at worst. It's a shame for such an iconic ground.
ANYWAY
When it came to the game it was... OK. England were clearly the better team but they lacked the killer instinct and weren't clinical in the box.
Beth Mead's goal was ridiculous but also deserved, she was fantastic. There were a couple of young Manc lads sitting behind me giving a running commentary and they felt Leah Williamson needed to step it up a bit but they rated Georgia Stanway and I'm tempted to agree. The pace overall dropped off considerably in the second half and I would, of course, have preferred more goals but the job was done and today England face group leaders (on goal difference) Norway.
In the other groups there was a disappointing draw between holders and favourites Netherlands and Sweden with a couple of frustrating injuries for the Netherlands, while Spain, Norway and Germany brought their tournament attitude and each scored four goals with Caroline Graham Hansen performed a triple nutmeg for Norway.
There were also draws for Belgium and Iceland (Sveindis Jane Jonsdottir was the stand out player in that match) and Portugal and Switzerland, the latter leaving Group C exactly as it started, alphabetically, with everyone on the same points, games played and goal difference.
However it was France who really came out guns blazing. They beat Italy 5-1 in the last of the first round of group games and they looked like a proper team. I don't know much of the history of it but I understand there's a somewhat fractious relationship between the coach and her players (sound familiar Men's Game fans?!) but boy, did they bring it. They looked the tightest, best drilled, most threatening team of the tournament and Grace Geyoro bagged a hattrick. I'm excited to see what they can do next.
Football 'eritage
Just a quick note in this section to put right what I wrote last week. A reader contacted me to correct my assumptions about Germany and their domination of women's football up to this point and I appreciated that a lot! I also listened in shame while Alex Scott and Fara Williams talked about being scared of Germany in the past when they were playing.
So I consider myself schooled and would like to offer props to the German teams and players of earlier decades.
The {Offside} Thirst Trap
Keeping it Euro 2022 themed I'm furious to report that, like the Men's team, France really do have an above average number of hot players. Rude if you ask me.
Merch Stand
Enragingly West Ham have done it again with a really lovely away kit, look at that lovely sleeve detail. Also it's black and well, you know the rest.
Chelsea's on the other hand is not great at all. Despite much dissent I loved the psychedelic kit from last season. This one is... boring af. I really hate the collar too. (Nice video though)
United's is growing on me. I mean it's fine but I keep noticing extra details like the pinstripe pattern which adds a little something
Venezia were never going to be able to reach the dizzy height of last year's quad of outstanding shirts but I do like this. It's clean and crisp and... is that a proper long sleeve version I see?!
Extra Time
If you're not already I can highly recommend subscribing to Jessy Parker-Hughes' daily (daily!) Euros round up. Sign up here!
In other Euros content, should-be England Men's captain Jordan Henderson repped women's captain Leah Williamson at training last Wednesday in the women's jersey. Love him.
Romeo Beckham (whose Dad is famous or something?) scored this great free kick in the MLS Next Pro league
The Men's Euros ended a week ago today. What a month that was. Let us never forget this legend.
Fantasy Premier League is BACK! And I've set up the inaugural TWUTAB League. Sign up here!
That's it for next week, back next week for more news and a round up of the group stages of the Euros which finish on Sunday.
This week looks repulsive for much of the country (if you're in the UK) so I hope you get through it OK. I'm dreading it!
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