*clenches fist*... NICE
*clenches fist*... NICE
In a totally out of character move *cough* I can only apologise for how unintentionally thirsty this edition is. Normally I do it on purpose...
Kick Off
Hello friends. I hope we’re all well rested and relaxed after the international break. I was struck down with Covid and I can’t say I’m wholly over it. I have a snotty cold I can’t shift and my brain is definitely not as sharp as it is usually, so if this is a [n even bigger than usual] heap of nonsense then forgive me! I am about to have a delicious blackcurrant Lemsip so fingers crossed that helps.
Alright let’s do this.
We’ll begin, as my weekend of football did, in Germany.
The Friday night game was Bayern Munich v Bayer Leverkusen and my beloved Granit Xhaka. He started but looked quiet, which I can only attribute to knowing I was watching him. I am not a crank.
Harry Kane, looking tanned and extra blonde, scored of course, after only seven minutes, only for Leverkusen to reply 17 minutes later. It looked like we were going to get a draw, a fantastic, entertaining one, until Leon Goretzka scored on the 86th minute, seemingly sealing it for Bayern. But wait! What do we have these days? Yes, sometimes nearly an additional quarter of a game in stoppage time which, as we will also see later, proved pivotal in the result.
On 90+4 a penalty was awarded to Leverkusen which Palacios deftly converted. This was how the score remained and it leaves Leverkusen on top by dint of goal difference.
Elsewhere Xavi Simons continued his excellent start to the season at RBL and the unlikely trio of Stuttgart, Hoffenheim and Wolfsburg sit with them in the other European spots.
Drifting behind them we see my darling Black and Yellows who gave a classic Dortmund performance, taking a 0-1 lead over Freiburg only to allow them two easy goals just before half time. Donyell Malen thankfully scored to regain parity, with a win being sealed late with a second goal from Mats Hummels and a cherry on the cake from legend Marco Reus. The fact they won also gives me an excuse to post this picture of Mats.
To France then, and also on Friday evening, if we can spin back to that briefly, PSG played Nice and lost 2-3. It often feels like whatever happens with PSG they somehow manage to bring it back but not this season.
It was especially gratifying to see Nice score on the 69th minute. You may even say it was… nice.
The result leaves PSG 5th and Ligue 1 with another unlikely Top 4 of Monaco, Brest, Marseille and Nice themselves.
Over in Spain, well. Let’s just talk briefly about the La Liga game I watched, Barcelona v. Real Betis and ignore what else happened over there this weekend.
Barça and Betis are my two Spanish loves. The Real Betis side is socially conscious and illegally handsome, it simply cannot be fair to have Marc Bartra, Isco and Héctor Bellerín in your team. It just can’t.
It was Barcelona who came out on top though, spanking Betis 5-0 with goals from five different scorers, book-ended by the new boys, the Joãos (Felix first, Cancelo to round it off). As I said on Twitter, whenever I watch Barcelona it’s either the worst game I’ve ever seen or they win 4-0, they make no real sense to me. (I did enjoy Gavi celebrating Lewandowski’s goal by running and jumping on him with such force that he ended up on his shoulders though. That boy ain’t right).
It was left to Marc Bartra to come out afterwards and speak to the media, for which we should all be thankful.
It was also a goalfest in Italy this weekend.
My guys Milan fell to Inter, letting in 5 and responding with only 1. Inter are looking sharp this season, might they return to the Scudetto to the blue side of San Siro?
Juventus are also flying high and beat Lazio 3-1 with goals from the rejuvenated Vlahović and Chiesa. Defending champions Napoli could only manage a draw leaving them in fifth, straddled either side by surprise packages Lecce and the newly promoted Frosinone.
The Serie A game of the weekend however, was Roma destroying Empoli 7-0. They’ve had a terrible start, and are currently 12th, but yesterday they stepped up with goals from Dybala x 2, Sanches, Cristante, Lukaku, Mancini and an unfortunate og.
Finally then to the Premier League which started with Wolves v. Liverpool, in Jurgen’s absolute favourite slot, the 12:30 KO.
For a while it looked like he might have something of a point, with Wolves taking an early lead via Hwang. Wolves held on well until Cody Gakpo managed to nick an early second half equaliser on the stroke of being substituted. The second goal came from Andy Robertson who, as well as being choked by Curtis Jones, looked like he was going to dislocate his jaw from yelling so loudly. It was rounded off by a goal which, though officially belongs to Hugo Bueno as an own goal, for me, will always spiritually be Harvey Elliott’s.
In the 3pms Fulham scraped a victory against Luton, Villa came out 3-1 winners against Palace despite going down a goal, after they had one disallowed, and Spurs took advantage of an unholy amount of stoppage time to come back from a 0-1 deficit and beat Sheffield United. City also won. We then had a horrible, tetchy game between Newcastle and Brentford which Newcastle eventually won. The refereeing was horrible and it was just a miserable experience if I’m honest.
There was also another game at 3pm though and that was Brighton v. Man United. United hadn’t lost at Old Trafford for 13 months, since being beaten by… Brighton. You’ll have seen the tweets, read the articles, seen the analysis on MOTD so I’m afraid it befalls me to just say it’s very very funny as an outsider. I know from experience how painful it is when your team is doing badly but the amount of awfulness coming out of the United camp over well, the past couple of years really, was going to bite them on the arse in the end. You may wish to see it as karma, you may wish to blame the Glazers, or perhaps even the manager but really it seems as though the whole ecosystem at United is rotten and no-one is strong enough to make any of the proper changes they so desperately need.
On Sunday then, another rotten empire went to the Vitality Stadium to try and kick start its season. Mudryk started for some reason and even though I was mid enraging phonecall with IKEA and had the TV on mute it was stark to see that Pochettino was, within minutes of kick off, screaming “MISHA! MISHA! MISHA!” at him. I feel bad for the kid, I really do, but he’s not up to standard.
You could argue however, that none of the Chelsea team is. There was no coherence, no sharpness in the box. It was a Championship level game in a Championship level ground with a Championship level atmosphere. The only thing missing was a Championship level of goals, ending as it did 0-0, the first Premier League no score draw of the season.
The final game of the weekend (yes, I’m aware there is MNF today) was one of my most feared and dreaded fixtures: Everton v Arsenal. My first men’s game at the Emirates was against Everton and we soundly beat them 4-0, just as we did on the last day of the 21/22 season but Everton at Goodison? Nah, nasty nasty fixture.
Arsenal started looking good but Everton held firm and we just couldn’t find that killer penetration, until Fabio Vieira put a ball through to Martinelli who slotted home. It was a lovely goal but it was offside. For me, obviously and unquestionably. Again, the beef you have with offside is with the rule itself, not the interpretation thereof.
Shortly thereafter Martinelli went down injured and was subbed with Trossard. Hopefully it won’t be anything serious as he’s so key.
Anyway, the Trossard substitution turned out to be a blessing as he scored the only goal of the match on the 69th minute (yes, there’s a very loose 69 theme this week hence the title!)
I love this picture of him with Bukayo, but I also love this picture of him being a complete coquette with Reiss Nelson.
It came after one of our incessant and infuriating short corners which have been driving me round the bend but for which I will temporarily eat my words, until we try the same against PSV on Wednesday or Spurs on Sunday and get nothing from it.
Of course City sit top of the league, unbeaten, while Spurs, Liverpool and Arsenal take the remaining spots each with one draw and four wins.
And so we (nearly) end our return from the International Break. Burnley Forest tonight which will either be incredible or the worst game every to be broadcast and then tomorrow…
Half Time
I had a whole section almost completed for this on Harry Maguire but football moves so quickly it felt old and stale and my brain couldn’t wrap it up neatly enough, so you are spared.
I could also take time here to write about Greenwood’s Getafe debut, but I suspect we’ve all had our fill of abusive men in the public eye and wish for escapism.
I could also have taken a moment to explore timewasting and the seemingly manufactured furore over Arsenal’s 26 second corner, but it’s so teeth achingly boring I don’t think I can bear it.
Full Time
I enjoyed this (slightly flimsy) article about where footballers live in the North West
Loved this list from FourFourTwo of 100 of the greatest ever team badges. I tweeted a few of my faves and also expressed displeasure at the omission of Salernitana.
Rafa soundtracking his instagram post with “September” is truly delightful
Spectacular scenes in Greece
Perhaps instead of arguing about VAR every week we should simply show our loyalty via the medium of socks
This thread about Millwall fans is very funny
If you haven’t already seen it I implore you to click here and watch this goal from Ajax Vrouwen.
John Terry got dragged beautifully by the Fulham admin this week
The beautiful Jan Vertonghan played his 150th game for Belgium last week and was given a gift to celebrate.
Shirt of the Week
I think I might have mentioned this shirt back when it was first released but it looked so great with the full kit last week that I want to mention it again; it’s the Scotland 150 year anniversary shirt.
Yes, the whole effect is a bit France but I just think it’s really gorgeous.
England’s special edition warm up shirt was also really lovely.
Thirst Trap
Just. I mean. The thing is. What I’m trying to say right. Look. As I was mentioning.
It’s Dominik Szboszlai this week OK? That’s all I can muster. Look at him! LOOK.
So we come to the end of another edition, hope you enjoyed it. Remember my KoFi is available as is the option to become a paid subscriber. I still don’t have any perks for this but maybe I’ll start doing a UCL/UEL/UECL special or something, I dunno ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Anyway, I’ll mull that over and in the meantime have an enjoyable week and I’ll be back next Monday :)