Dress You Up

Hello friends!

Long time no see.

It’s been nice to have a break, to extricate myself from football a little (while still getting fully into the Euros) and do some other things with my life, like getting addicted to restoration videos and the Hundred.

But we’re back, nearly. Indeed Scottish football and the lower leagues are already back, and tonight, for those of us who mainly concern ourselves with the Premier League, there’s a nice amuse bouche in the form of what last year would have been a PL fixture; Luton v. Burnley. Worth it for Rob Edwards alone right?

I’m still not ready to talk about The Actual Football yet though, so I’m going to ease us all back in with a newsletter devoted solely to one of my favourite parts of the game: the shirts.

Most PL clubs have announced their new season’s offerings, some being worn in the last game of the season which I never won’t object to, and plenty of away and third kits have become official too.

Of course some of them are worth talking about, and I will, but I want to look further afield too; to the lower tiers, the grassroots and the overseas (and not just the big European leagues) where there is treasure to be found.

Let’s start though with a bunch of shirts that were announced today for a selection of teams that can’t really get much bigger; the Adidas third kits for Arsenal, Manchester United, Bayern Munich, Juventus and Real Madrid, all featuring the return of the iconic trefoil.

Arsenal come in strong with this vibrant number, a cool mix of turquoises and purples with a royal blue trim. It falls into my pantheon of Zzapp lolly shirts, but this is never a bad thing. It’s fun and interesting and I hope we wear it more than we wore the beloved pink jersey from 22/23.

Real, Bayern and Juve shine in these beautiful collared numbers. I’m particularly taken with the Juve shirt with the gold details and horse emblem.

And finally, United have this classy number with the devil badge. I love a round neck and I love how retro this looks, it’s clean and simple and striking.

Slowly working their way into contention for best kit producer over the past couple of seasons has been Kappa. They tend to work with lower league clubs all over the world and they really do produce some beauties.

Clockwise from the centre we have US Triestina away, SM Caen away, CD Ibiza Islas Pitiusas third, Versailles home, Metz third, Versailles away, US Triestina home, Karşıyaka SK home, away and third, Athens Kallithea home

Next we have a real beauty I found via this thread on Twitter. LAFC’s stunning retro archive jersey. The font across the front of the shirt gives me so much joy and I love the creams and browns, not always a good combo for a football shirt but it really works here, and of course, the Adidas trefoil.

Indeed let’s give a nod to all the Adidas MLS Archive shirts:

So what of the Premier League? I will, probably, if I find the oomph, be doing my usual kit rating thread but let’s look right now at some of the stand out jerseys.

It’s not a vintage year for me but there are a few that have caught my eye.

Long term readers will know my extremely longstanding beef with Leicester, so it pains me when they have a good kit, but I can’t skip over their lovely black away number just because I hate them. It’s really pretty.

Next we have Brentford’s double header of the millennial favourite, pink and green. Both shirts are lovely imo and I like the way they launched them together.

Another team I try my very hardest to never praise is Man City (and of course massive minus points for having a Puma kit), but they’ve done it again with a tasty burgundy number, which is a popular colour at the moment it seems, skipping on to the Ipswich away kit which has a horrible sponsor logo but otherwise is a great shirt by legends of the game, Umbro.

Finishing then with two light coloured retro jerseys: Chelsea, who recently have seemed to be doing really interesting things with their badge and Newcastle, who have gone fully retro with theirs which I adore.

Moving on to the rest of Europe and there’s not a single Bundesliga jersey that moves me, bar the already mentioned Bayern third kit. You could make an argument for the St Pauli away kit, like LAFC a good use of brown and cream, but otherwise they’re all pretty revolting.

La Liga are somewhat better, with Sevilla smashing it out of the park with all of their jerseys (L-R Home, Away, Third)

There are also some nice kits from Atleti away, Real away and Girona both away and third (again, boo Puma). I especially like the Atleti shirt which is an unusual but lovely combination of colours with a nice ringer tee neckline and cuffs.

Over in France, like Germany, there is very little to get excited about, but if we must, then Le Havre away and Nice home are decent options.

Last but not least, because honestly I thought there were going to be lots to choose from, we have Serie A. Sadly I have somehow made a big mistake here and there’s really not much good out there this season. The Milan shirt is fine (just look at the Nice one above and you’ll get the idea) and obviously the aforementioned Juve third but otherwise it’s not great. In fact, it’s so not great I’ve had to pick a Lazio shirt.

Along with Genoa they’re the only two that I felt moved to include in this write up. I think Genoa’s is just crisp and cool and I really like the pattern on the Lazio shirt and yes, they always play in light blue, but it seems like an especially nice light blue this season.

But what of the lower leagues? I hear you cry, well, here we, here we fucking go.

There’s gold to be found outside of the top tiers, so here we go, a full sweep across the second tiers (and beyond in England) of Europe.

Clockwise from top left: AC Ajaccio (Ligue 2), Blackburn Rovers (Championship), Bradford City (League Two), CD Castellón (LaLiga 2), Leyton Orient (League One), Millwall (Championship), Derby County (Championship), Bristol City (Championship) and Cambridge United (League One)

Clockwise from top left: Peterborough United (League One), QPR (League One), Red Star Paris (Ligue 2), Cádiz CF (LaLiga 2), TSV 1860 Munich (3. Liga), AC Perugia Calcio (Serie C), Latina Calcio 1932 (Serie C), Sheffield United (Championship) and S.S. Juve Stabia (Serie B)

There are also some really exciting manufacturers around at the moment, below are just a few of the shirts from Ezeta who make jerseys for lower league Italian sides with masses of pomp and drama.

Of course I’m sure everyone knows Icarus, who do wonderful shirts, including fun concept shirts like the Hellenic League and London Local.

OK, I think that’s a good chunk of shirts to be getting on with! For reference I got a lot of the pics and tip offs of a good jersey from Football Kit Archive and Soccer Bible as well as Twitter and my own memory.

I hope you enjoyed that and yes, the football does start properly on Friday so expect a more regular TWUTAB from now on and should you wish, please do join the TWUTAB Fantasy League here.

Until next week, enjoy the sun, wear sunscreen and drink plenty of water though, and KEEP YOUR CURTAINS AND BLINDS SHUT OR YOUR HOUSE WILL BE UNBEARABLE (Americans ignore).

Bye for now!