Everything Is Embarrassing
Kick Off
Remember the other week when I wrote a screed pre the City game about how football was making me miserable and that I didn’t know how to get out of the funk and reclaim my joy?
Maybe I need to check my cycle or something because I’m back there again this weekend, only this time there’ll be no saving grace because we’ve already played and lost and everyone’s post match analysis is making me want to die. Add to this that Spurs will probably beat Chelsea tonight, and then, like last year with the treble, the last great record (the Invincibles) will broken by one of the holding team’s greatest rivals.
So yeah, maybe I’m making like the Liverpool fans I rib about their negativity but I just can’t be arsed with any of it, it’s affecting my mental health in a different way to last year so I’m taking a small step back, muting judiciously and will be trying to find my joy again be it in football or elsewhere. I have the occasional struggle with poor mental health as it is and none of this is giving me what I need right now. I can assure you I’m not simply sore about losing, I didn’t feel like this after Lens or West Ham!
To compound issues, it was der Klassiker on Saturday, at the same time at the Newcastle Arsenal game. It was the home leg for Dortmund, the Yellow Wall looking glorious, but within four minutes Bayern had taken the lead, doubling it after nine with the first of three from Harry Kane, the final score 0-4.
The evening game in Serie A was Milan v Udinese and yep, you’ve guessed it, Milan also lost. A terrible day for my lads.
Elsewhere on Saturday, United grabbed a late winner against Fulham after a pretty abject performance and an early disallowed goal.
The biggest talking point for me however was the head injury to Harry Maguire. For a man known as Slabhead he looked pretty shaken after a collision. He was allowed to continue only for Jon Brooks to seemingly insist on the medical staff looking at him again in the second half (this at least is what appeared to happen, it wasn’t entirely clear).
Pictures showed him looking dazed and unwell but still he carried on. There’s so much talk about what to do about head injuries, about people faking them to slow down a match, about the logistics of it, but when it’s clear to someone watching on TV that a player looks, to use an official term, fucked, surely the medical staff can see this? Even brain injury charities have now got involved with the incident.
At 3pm we had a chunky five games. Palace overcame Burnley, who have still not got a home win; Brentford beat West Ham in a five goal thriller and Everton drew with Brighton.
City won.
But, so did Sheffield United. The team rooted to the bottom of the table with just one point finally did it. They took the lead against Wolves, only for Wolves to equalise. Then, deep deep into stoppage time a penalty was awarded and on the 100th minute, Ollie Norwood struck the ball and Sa was unable to keep it out.
We know what happened at 5:30 and I simply don’t have the desire or energy to say anything else about it.
Despite winning der Klassiker, over in Germany, Bayern remain in second in the Bundesliga to Leverkusen. You have to wonder if it’s Leverkusen’s year, it just all seems to be going their way, fighting back yesterday to win 2-3 against Hoffenheim after their early lead was nullified.
In Serie A Inter consolidated their place at the top of the table and are now six points clear of city rivals Milan after their loss. Juventus play tonight (I’m actually writing this on Sunday afternoon so expect an update - the update is that Juve won) and may well close the gap but they can’t go top.
In Spain, right now, Girona are top, which we love. Yes they are part of the evil City Football Group but they’re also not Real or Barcelona or even Atleti.
In France, Nice are top which is fun. It’d be great to have someone not PSG win again.
And that’s that for the weekend round up. Spurs Chelsea, Getafe Cadiz and Frosinone Empoli and Torino Sass are the evening games tonight.
Half Time
It goes without saying that anyone reading this newsletter will be against racism and tragedy chanting; that indeed any right thinking person will be, and yet both still reared their heads this weekend.
No-one should have to suffer racism under any circumstances, whether it’s for ‘just doing their job’ or for simply existing, and tragedy chanting, especially after one of the most incredible silences I’ve ever witnessed to commemorate those who lost their lives tragically, is ironic at best, revolting at worst.
It all just adds to my current view of football as a cesspit that’s entirely broken and irredeemable.
Full Time
Some good things? It can’t all be doom and gloom can it. Can it?
First, full solidarity, love and strength to Anwar El Ghazi after he was sacked by Mainz for his posts about the genocide in Gaza. He posted this after his departure was announced.
In a truly beautiful act of solidarity (yeah, I’m using that word a lot this section aren’t I, seems like it’s what we all need right now), Lazio and Italy’s Ciro Immobile appeared with his wife on an edition of Italy’s Drag Race. As one of the queens says, it’s so important for people like him, in his position, to do things like this. And it may seem trite to point this out but look how happy and relaxed he looks, this isn’t something done for the sake of it imo.
Fulham fans protested against ticket prices during the game with United on Saturday, another example of the power of collective action.
Newcastle are frankly dead to me at the moment but I did really like this, following their victory over United in the Carabao Cup last week with a depleted team. It could so easily have been a properly ugly tattoo but I really love how the artist has interpreted the picture.
Rebecca Welch was the fourth official in Fulham v United on Saturday and then officiated Arsenal Women v. Manchester City Women on Sunday.
A wild fact appeared last week. When we think of all the changes that happened last year this is mental.
Fulham admin leaning into their Fulham-ness
Chiellini’s daughter dressing as Cher from Clueless is elite
It’s coming up for that time of year so this week’s Footy Scran entry is a vaguely festive one from Barnsley Women. I would absolutely smash it.
While we’re talking about meat and stuffing I’d smash this from Yate Town as well.
Poor FC Basel
A wonderful and moving chat between Musa Okwonga and Ian Wright on the occasion of Ian’s 60th birthday.
Shirt of the Week
Not a shirt but I do love this travel look from Barcelona with matching snood. Very classy
Thirst Trap
If you can actually believe it I’m not in the mood at all to find someone for this, so just to circle back to something from Full Time have this picture of Ciro Immobile to keep you going. To be fair he’s as good a candidate overall as any of the previous entrants so enjoy.
So there we have it for another week. Thank you for bearing with me during my breakdown of sorts and for continuing to subscribe and support TWUTAB. I’ve paused paid subscriptions indefinitely, the few of you who pay monthly won’t get charged again, because I don’t feel I’m offering anything different for paid subs nor the quality I would expect to compensate for that. I’m so grateful to everyone who decided to put their hard earned cash into this, know that it’s so so appreciated. My ko-fi is still up and running if you’re so inclined.
OK then, I hope everyone has a peaceful and happy week, that you find joy in whatever you can and managed to shut out the things that bring you down. I’ll no doubt be back next week, out of my funk and back on top of things, until then however, take care and see you then! <3