Happy New Year!
Happy New Year!
2022 then...🥂
Happy New Year everyone! I hope you managed to have some sort of a break over the festive period and got to see everyone you wanted to (or if not have plans to in the coming weeks) and received everything your heart desired!
The Week In Ball
A week(ish) in ball but so, so many games. Well, so, so many games scheduled. Not quite so many games actually played. By the EPL calendar there were three 'gameweeks' in the space of nine days. It's been hectic trying to wrangle my Covid and injury riddled fantasy side so imagine how it must have been for the managers, some of whom are themselves Covid riddled, having to wrangle their Covid and injury riddled squads...
Still, games were played and delightfully we saw a glut of goals on Boxing Day. I managed not to mention Boxing Day 1963 once on Twitter, though boy did I see it a lot, both in sincerity and people desperate to post about it but not wanting to seem uncool and therefore making some kind of ironic nod to it. Either way, I'm convinced this is now to middle aged football fans' as the War is to a certain subsection of the British population. It's become something that they can't help but mention and have probably convinced themselves they were part of, despite being born in 1977.
Man City 6 - 3 Leicester was obviously the pick of the fixtures for sheer volume of goals and the amount of peril involved as the score bounced around from a certain drubbing at 4-0 to a possible comeback at 4-3. Yet in the end, as they always do, City prevailed. The result seemed to galvanise Leicester and by their next game they were beating an utterly feckless and poor Liverpool in what could be considered a shock result. At the least it was certainly unexpected.
The other shock fixture was probably West Ham 2 - 3 Southampton. West Ham have been punching this season under the stewardship of David Moyes and his coaching renaissance, however it was probably inevitable there would be a wobble, it was just a surprise that the wobble would come against a team in such an unpredictable vein of form. The Hammers came back strong however, beating Watford 1-4 in the next game, pulling themselves together after conceding early.
The other plum result of the first gameweek was of course Arsenal beating Norwich 5-0. Yeah yeah, it's just Norwich, who are woeful, but Arsenal were assured and confident and well disciplined and these are the results we need to be getting if we want to remain in the top four (about which I'm increasingly optimistic, with a side of realism of course). The momentum stuttered in the second festive gameweek with the Leeds game being called off and then of course there was the City match. Oof. It's not the despair, it's the hope I can't stand. Over half the match in control, playing well, keeping City at bay, winning and then... Truly I don't like blaming individual players for anything other than the thing they did. Yes, you can invoke the butterfly effect or multiverses or whatever but let's just say Xhaka shouldn't have pulled Bernardo's shirt and Gabriel shouldn't have lost his head. Of course it did have an effect the way the rest of the game played out, but I don't blame them personally. The real kicker was the second City goal and Arsenal's inability to manage the game and finish some of the earlier chances. I would've been thrilled with a draw but sometimes you don't get the luck or the decisions (let's leave referee "bias" for another time).
Across the rest of the weekend we had plenty of goals in some frenetic matches. I was out for the day cuddling dogs so I missed most of the Chelsea Liverpool game and saw none of the earlier kick offs, but it was great to see Brentford winning and Brighton finally coming out of games with something to show for their excellent performances.
Yes, I did see The Incident(s?) from the Chelsea Liverpool game but again, let's leave refereeing and decision making for another day, there's plenty say but I want to do some more reading around this, see how it pans out across the games for the next couple of weeks and gather my thoughts properly. (Oh, I'm gonna swerve the Lukaku stuff too, just mentioning it to say yeah, obviously I saw it all)
The final game of the weekend to mention was the 0-1 victory by Wolves over Man United. I have a massive soft spot for Wolves and always enjoy it when they do well plus I've grown much more fond of Bruno Lage as the season has gone on. He gives great interviews and his post match yesterday was brilliant, really good if you're looking for an easy to understand tactics explainer. (Sidenote, isn't it fantastic to see Carl back online and writing about United (and just in general tbh), big love Carl!)
The only other league [that I talk about] currently playing is La Liga.
Barcelona made a meal of beating Mallorca despite Xavi literally dismissing the devil before kick off. However, they're now in fifth which is fine! It's all progress and while we often talk about Barca playing kids, they were literally playing a load of untested children and second fiddle players due to Covid and injuries and managed to hold on.
One of those injuries is their latest signing, Ferran Torres, from Man City. An excellent signing in my opinion but of course he arrived injured and now can't be registered until some fuckery is completed with their wage bill. I started playing FIFA over the break, on manager career mode, and let me tell you Pedri laughed in my face when I gave him my wage suggestion so I know this won't be easy. (Don't worry I signed him eventually and now he and Gavi, who accepted a pittance incidentally, are my midfield heroes).
The headline though is obviously Getafe beating Real 1-0 to put a tiny dent in their title stomp and then we had Villarreal thumping poor rock bottom Levante 5-0 on Monday evening.
So Real Madrid still sit proudly at the top of the table with Sevilla second and Hector Bellerin's Betis sticking steadfastly in third. I hope they get into Europe and that Arsenal sell him so he can get some European action next year. I'd rather have sold my own leg to Betis this time last year rather than lose Hector from Arsenal but he's clearly thriving and I love that for him.
Kick Off
So, I started this newsletter to try and both learn about and explain some of the more technical and tactical elements of football but I can't lie I've been lacking inspiration in this regard for a while now so... can I ask for some input?
What concept/formation/move/regularly mentioned piece of punditry would you like explained? Would you be interested in some potted histories of big clubs around the world? How did football begin? More opinion pieces on talking points of the week? Let me know!
The {Offside} Thirst Trap
In a moment of boredom during last week's Dead Zone I started watching All Or Nothing: Juventus. There were no huge revelations (I have two eps left); Chiesa seems properly lovely, McKennie is a bit of a knob, Nedved has the most terrifyingly blue eyes, Bonucci doesn't seem like an especially forgiving person.
However, the star for me, and one of the reasons I kept watching, is capitano Giorgio Chiellini. You know Chiellini, he did this to Jordi Alba in the semis of the Euros this year before the penalty shoot out:
He's the one who was bitten by Luis Suarez during the 2014 World Cup. He's aggressive and passionate and physical (just ask Bukayo Saka). He's the one who trolled Spurs beautifully in 2018.
However, off the field he's kind and gentle and nurturing (oh and I lied about the series lacking revelations, he has a twin!). He speaks softly and intelligently and has time for all the younger players. He studied for and gained a degree in Economics and Commerce in 2010, whilst still a full time professional footballer, then got a masters in Business Administration in 2017. He speaks English fluently, enjoys red wine and has a nice line in jumpers.
And he's really very handsome with features like a Roman emperor, just so very Italian, with eyes of pure brown and a sweet, almost humble smile. He's not someone you look at and immediately drool over or go FUCK about, it's a slow burn but you get there in the end. He's cosier thirst trap, someone you can project a lovely life onto, sure you're thinking about the good sex you'd have but you also know he'd treat you well and it would just be a nice time all round.
Salute Gio, you're 2022's first Thirst Trap.
Football 'eritage
I'm coming into the New Year with a sweet and extremely English tale, or should that be tail?
As surely everyone knows, in 1966 England hosted the World Cup. Before the tournament the Jules Rimet trophy was on display at the "Sport with Stamps" Stanley Gibbons Stampex rare stamp exhibition at Methodist Central Hall in Westminster, which the FA had authorised on the proviso that it was under guard at all times.
However, on Sunday March 20th the thief or thieves foiled the guards and managed to steal the trophy from its cabinet. What followed is just so extremely 1960s and I don't know why there hasn't been a Guy Ritchie film or an ITV drama starring Phil Daniels (there appears to have been a film made in 2006 concentrating on the protagonist of this piece but no gritty telling of the whole story.)
The short version is that there was a ransom demand of £15K, made to the chief of the Football Association. He then reported it to the police who referred it to the Flying Squad. In collaboration with a bank they put together the ransom made of blank paper with genuine notes only on the top and bottom and put these in a suitcase. Of course this did not go to plan (please read the wiki entry about this, it's hilarious).
But wait! A hero is about to emerge!
On Sunday 27th March a young dog called Pickles, on a walk with his owner David Corbett, snuffled at a package wrapped in newspaper, near Corbett's home (the exact location appears to be disputed, the main wiki says it was by a hedge, Pickles own wiki says it was under the wheel of a parked car) and lo, it was the trophy.
Pickles, naturally, became a star. He starred in a film, he appeared on children's television and received a year's supply of dog food from Spillers. He died in 1967 and his collar is now on display in the National Football Museum in Manchester, along with a replica Jules Rimet, which, in the 80s, got stolen again from Brazil and was never recovered.
Merch Stand
It's been four days since Arsenal lost to City and there's been no retro clothing drop and I haven't seen anyone else even hint at anything, or seen any non-clothing merch, so today we travel back in time. Back to those heady days of 2003 before the likes of Gavi and Moukoko were even born, to a time when Arsenal still won titles and their stars were eminently bankable. If you're my age or similar you probably still have 'hey Bobby, what's the French for va-va-voom' pop into your head occasionally and if you're not, please enjoy the young (so young, why does he look so young? Why am I so old, oh god) Thierry Henry in this commercial for Renault Clio.
Extra Time
We're now into 2022 but before we leave 2021 behind completely, please enjoy this thread of the best moments in football in 2021, I'll be straight with you, it's mostly Roy Keane yelling or Micah laughing but there are some other decent bits too:
I really enjoyed this interview with Xhaka. He comes across really well.
Ian Wright is bang on about AFCON and the inherent racism of the Western media when they talk about it. By the way, congrats to him and the whole crew of Wrighty's House for winning the PodBible Sport and Leisure Podcast poll by the way! Richly deserved.
Staying with AFCON, here's a good primer on who to look out for by must-follow Tosan Makinde (aka @nigerianscamsss)
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