It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like The Packed Festive Season
It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like The Packed Festive Season
#JusticeForCarlAnka
The Week In Ball
Well well well. We begin this week, of course, with the news of Ole Gunnar Solskjaer being relieved of his duties from Manchester United.
The sacking came late on Saturday (followed by official confirmation on Sunday morning) after a dismal performance against Watford which culminated in a 4-1 loss. It's been coming for a while and should definitely have happened earlier but here we are, finally, in a post-Ole world.
By the time you read this there will have been many great articles detailing the reasons his management didn't work, what they need to do in the future and how to get the best out of what is frankly an embarrassment of riches in the player department, so I won't add to the noise around that.
What I will say however is that some people have been saying this for months and have received nothing but continual abuse for doing so. Sure you might disagree, sure you want to support your team and sure it can hurt when someone from your tribe says negative things but this is never an excuse for cruel, abusive and discriminatory responses. It's notable that some of the dissenters to Ole's throne who suffered the most were Black, Muslim or (and in some cases and) women.
I said when I wrote about Josh Cavallo that football is for everyone and this is no different. No-one should be made to feel shit because they have a different take on events than you, no-one should be bullied off social media for doing their job. If you see tweets/insta comments/whatever doing this report them, I know social media companies are fairly bad at dealing with this stuff but the more people take action the more they'll have to take notice.
Onto the other matters of the weekend, Arsenal's run of 10 unbeaten games in all competitions was brought to and end by Liverpool. Perhaps I'm just being ultra sensitive but it felt to me like Liverpool fans wanted to gloat about it far more than Arsenal fans cared, if that makes sense? Liverpool are fantastic, one of the best and most entertaining teams in the league if not the world and losing to them was both expected and no shame at all; I don't think I saw any Arsenal fan being a dick before the game, we knew this was coming. Arsenal remain fifth, which I still find mindblowing and for my money we're definitely good for a top half finish. I've also been seeing a lot today about people claiming xG is rubbish because it doesn't reflect Arsenal's position and, no? I guess I must only follow sensible people because no-one I'm seeing is being precious about it.
Over the rest of the Premier League we finally saw my 'the league goes mad after International Break' theory come good with 36 goals over the ten matches including two 3-3s, a job ending 4-1 and a 4-0. Conte got his first league win with Spurs and Norwich continued their winning streak of two games with added New Manager Bounce. Speaking of which, Aston Villa left it late but came good eventually beating Brighton 2-0, however Eddie Howe's Eddie Howe-less Newcastle (he tested positive for Covid so had to watch from a hotel room) could only manage a 3-3 draw against Brentford.
In Europe FC Augsburg, one of my favourite German teams solely for their extremely aesthetic Twitter account, pulled off a shock by beating Bayern Munich 2-1 in the Friday evening game. It's always fun following a smaller club on Twitter when something like this happens, it's just so nice seeing the excitement and emotion and often they're very funny too (not just Augsburg! German club Twitter is great fun all round, apart from @BlackYellow who have me blocked for some unknown reason ::crying emoji::)
In Italy I was yet again proved right about post-International matches with a 5-2, 4-3 and 3-2 and there are still two games to play.
However, yet again it was Jose Mourinho's Roma taking the headlines, for good this time, as 18 year old Felix Afena-Gyan scored this absolute corker to seal the game for Roma and get Genoa's new manager Andrey Shevchenko off to a losing start. Of course I didn't see it because after I switched over from the OL OM game I saw there were only three minutes left so put La Liga on instead. Another one for Emily's Big Book Of Excellent Decisions there.
Why were you switching over from Olympique Lyonnais v Olympique de Marseille I hear you ask. Well. Yet again Ligue 1 proved itself to be the Wild West after Dmitri Payet, who is always involved in these incidents somehow, was hit with a full bottle of water thrown from the crowd while he was trying to take a corner.
What followed was over an hour where no-one knew if the game was going to go ahead or not which of course gave us the unbridled joy of listening to Jonathan Pearce and Clive Allen padding until a decision was finally made. Hearing Jonathan talk about 'the criminal in the crowd who threw the bottle' was pure chef's kiss. Other treats included the fact the referee was called Ruddy Buquet and said he wasn't going to see Payet and ask how he was because he 'is not a psychologist'. Eventually, after the farce of the Lyon players coming out to warm up, the game was called off presumably to be replayed behind closed doors at some juncture.
So finally we head to Spain where Xavi took charge of his first game, the Derbi Barceloní, where he turned up looking like the kind of 6Music dad who's really into the Beastie Boys and works in Tech
Now, maybe it's just me, but I find Spanish games shown on LaLigaTV to, more often than not, be really boring. And the reason for this is that I think they turn the crowd noise right down so it's just a gentle burble and you have no concept of whether certain passages of play are exciting or not.
Think about how loud the crowds are when you watch the Premier League on TV (and to be fair, Serie A, Ligue 1 and the Bundesliga on BTSport/Sky) and how they have to apologise for bad language all the time because it's so clear, well I think LaLiga TV should take a lesson from that.
Either way, Barcelona ran out 1-0 winners after a slightly soft penalty converted emphatically by Memphis. They're now 6th, having won their first game in four with the Xavi revolution to continue.
One last thing to mention about La Liga before we end for the week. Poor Hector Bellerin got sent off in the game against Elche on Sunday. After his own goal the week before he's not having the best run.
Oh! I almost forgot to mention that Pedri won this year's vote for the Golden Boy award which frankly sounds like something out of Father Ted. Anyway, here he is in, what I assume is, a no way weird or embarrassing promotional shoot for bananas.
Kick Off
Alright, this is a mammoth newsletter so I'm going to do a nice simple one for you this week: Free Kicks.
I'm sure everyone knows what a free kick is, however hopefully some of you will be unaware of the difference between direct and indirect free kicks and will find this useful. Everyone else... keep scrolling bbs
For those of you that remain let's first deal with what exactly a free kick is. It seems obvious right? And it is, but let's get the official definition from the lawmakers themselves, the FA:
Direct and indirect free kicks are awarded to the opposing team of a player, substitute, substituted or sent-off player, or team official guilty of an offence.
Direct free kicks are what you may consider the more serious sanction and these are the ones you can score directly from (as the name suggests). Technically a penalty is a direct free kick, it just operates under special rules due to the offence taking place in the box.
(I have seen an indirect free kick given in the box, to the attacking team and as this doesn't fall under the special rules of a penalty it has to be taken from the spot where the offence occurred. Imagine for yourselves the hilarity that ensues in this situation where you're able to have a wall or are maybe only two feet from the goal line.)
I digress. Sticking to direct free kicks there's a specific set of offences one must commit in order for a direct free kick to be awarded and these, from the FA website, are:
A direct free kick is awarded if a player commits any of the following offences against an opponent in a manner considered by the referee to be careless, reckless or using excessive force:
charges
jumps at
kicks or attempts to kick
pushes
strikes or attempts to strike (including head-butt)
tackles or challenges
trips or attempts to trip
If an offence involves contact it is penalised by a direct free kick or penalty kick.
Careless is when a player shows a lack of attention or consideration when making a challenge or acts without precaution. No disciplinary sanction is needed
Reckless is when a player acts with disregard to the danger to, or consequences for, an opponent and must be cautioned
Using excessive force is when a player exceeds the necessary use of force and endangers the safety of an opponent and must be sent off
A direct free kick is awarded if a player commits any of the following offences:
a handball offence (except for the goalkeeper within their penalty area)
holds an opponent
impedes an opponent with contact
bites or spits at someone on the team lists or a match official
throws an object at the ball, opponent or match official, or makes contact with the ball with a held object
Whereas the list of offences for which an indirect free kick is given is below:
An indirect free kick is awarded if a player:
plays in a dangerous manner
impedes the progress of an opponent without any contact being made
is guilty of dissent, using offensive, insulting or abusive language and/or action(s) or other verbal offences
prevents the goalkeeper from releasing the ball from the hands or kicks or attempts to kick the ball when the goalkeeper is in the process of releasing it
initiates a deliberate trick for the ball to be passed (including from a free kick or goal kick) to the goalkeeper with the head, chest, knee etc. to circumvent the Law, whether or not the goalkeeper touches the ball with the hands; the goalkeeper is penalised if responsible for initiating the deliberate trick
commits any other offence, not mentioned in the Laws, for which play is stopped to caution or send off a player
An indirect free kick is awarded if a goalkeeper, inside their penalty area, commits any of the following offences:
controls the ball with the hand/arm for more than six seconds before releasing it
touches the ball with the hand/arm after releasing it and before it has touched another player
touches the ball with the hand/arm, unless the goalkeeper has clearly kicked or attempted to kick the ball to release it into play, after:
it has been deliberately kicked to the goalkeeper by a team-mate
receiving it directly from a throw-in taken by a team-mate
A goalkeeper is considered to be in control of the ball with the hand(s) when:
the ball is between the hands or between the hand and any surface (e.g. ground, own body) or by touching it with any part of the hands or arms except if the ball rebounds from the goalkeeper or the goalkeeper has made a save
holding the ball in the outstretched open hand
bouncing it on the ground or throwing it in the air
A goalkeeper cannot be challenged by an opponent when in control of the ball with the hand(s).
An indirect free kick must be kicked by a second player before being kicked into the net, which is why you'll often see Player A gently nudge the ball to Player B before they wallop it.
And to be quite honest that really is it. I'm going to leave you with the information that the FA page I've taken this information from illustrates a free kick offence with a tackle by none other than the Ramos Ripper, Eric Dier. Of course. Of course it does.
The {Offside} Thirst Trap
Following the sad news, likely to be confirmed later in the week, that Sergio Agüero will be retiring due to heart issues, it seemed only fitting that we remember him in his prime.
With one of the best smiles to ever grace the Premier League, Sergio is, in my opinion, often overlooked when it comes to thirst. But look at him! He's genuinely gorgeous, whether it be with his natural hair or his beautiful silver dye job, those amazing dark eyes and his 'low centre of gravity' (IYKYK ;-) )
Football 'eritage
In the wake of Ole's sacking there have been many names rumoured or suggested for the Manchester United manager job. I've seen this person mentioned only once but felt a shiver of delight at the thought of it actually happening. That person is Wayne Rooney.
Now the reason I'm mentioning this in this section is that of course, big Wazza is famous for his "unique" approach to tweeting, whether it be offering to pick up Rio in the morning without actually @-ing him in, to saying he's going to take himself out, to claiming Mr Bean is, well, funny. So while he's at the forefront of our minds, let's remember some of the best:
To be fair though, when he's right he's right
Kit Bag
This week, in what may or may not have been a distraction piece to paper over the cracks of a team managed by Jose Mourinho, Roma revealed their third kit and it is beautiful.
I just love the 'La Lupa' tag and Tammy looks sweet af in it.
Also releasing their jersey this week were celeb backed 'brand' Angel City FC, the new women's team in LA. I've seen some dissent but as I always say, I've never met a black kit I didn't like and I like this! I just think it's very chic.
I've also said this a million times before but this is truly a golden age of kits. Just beaut after beaut coming out from all manufacturers.
Extra Time
🎄The Great TWUTAB Christmas Gift Guide🎄
As you receive this we will be but a month(ish) away from the greatest gift exchange of the year, Christmas. If your friends or family are demanding to know what to get you, or if you have a football mad person in your life, here are a few suggestions I've put together:
Firstly, be selfless! Ask someone to donate on your behalf in lieu of a gift! In 2020 "Kitmas", run by Paul Watson, gave 1000 football shirts to children who otherwise might not have had a Christmas present. This year, following both the success of that and the heightened interest in football after the Euros they're fundraising again! You can either donate a shirt or cold hard cash via their crowdfunder which is *HERE*. You can also hear Paul talking about the fundraiser HERE!
Next up, why not be selfless but also a little bit selfish too and get something for your donation. Yes, at FootballvHomophobia there is all sorts of merch you can get, or, if you scroll to the bottom of the page, you could simply donate directly.
If you want to brighten up your or your giftee's home why not consider a print from Special Olympian Niall Guite. There are also mugs and t-shirts up to an impressive 5XL available.
Alternatively, if your giftee sways Arsenal's way I can recommend one of Poorly Drawn Arsenal's lovely bits. And if you don't support Arsenal you can always get a Saka On A Unicorn mug which is surely a must for any England supporter.
If, like me, you are an embarrassing Stadio fanperson get in quick and you or the football nerd on your list could have one of their swishy and inevitable '8' sweaters on the way (pre-orders end on the 30th Nov!) or perhaps you want to go to your nearest Farmer's Market for some coffee beans and a locally sourced vegan burrito and to show your support with their handy cotton tote.
Prefer your football nerdery to be visual? In which case maybe you'll want to get your grubby little paws on some Tifo merch. I've put the mug on the Christmas list I sent to my non-football, non-online Mum and sister and am wondering when they'll comment on it...
For the discerning football fan, the one who is the epitome of that 'men love nothing more than sitting around and naming old footballers' tweet, consider picking out something Classic Football Shirts. If it was buying I'd be snapping up this cool 1998 Mexico scarf or this very pleasing Dortmund hoodie.
Here's something to help everyone with a lot of the links I post. Why not treat yourself or your giftee to a subscription to The Athletic. It really does have the best coverage out there of all things football, from the sublime to the ridiculous. And I promise I'm not being paid a penny by them!
I can't claim to have read any of these, however I have either read interviews with the subjects, think they'll be interesting reads or in a couple of cases am loosely acquainted with the authors and just want to give them their shout out! So here we go (yes these are Amazon links for ease but you know the drill, these are available from all good retailers including your local independent bookstore):
Autobiographies
Playmaker: My Life and the Love of Football by Glen Hoddle // I Love This Game: The Autobiography by Patrice Evra // Hooked: Addiction and The Long Road to Recovery by Paul Merson // Whistleblower: My Autobiography by Mark Clattenburg // Redemption: My Story by Troy Deeney // One: My Autobiography by Peter Schmeichel // The Immortals: How My Milan Team Reinvented Football by Arrigo Sacchi
Football Culture
The Beautiful History: Football Club Badges Tell the Story of Britain // Panini Football Stickers: The Official Celebration: A Nostalgic Journey Through the World of Panini
For Kids & Young Adults
You Are a Champion: How to Be the Best You Can Be by Marcus Rashford and Carl Anka // Striking Out by Ian Wright and Musa Okwonga // Match of the Day Annual 2022
If team based tat is your thing then I have the thread for you! Released onto the timeline on Friday like a fledgling raised by hand, here is my run down of the best Christmas merch from each Premier League team. I might do a pan European version at some point as well. My most interesting finding? Crystal Palace have by far the most festive and well stocked Christmas collection of all the clubs.
Finally, having received a Gunnersaurus a couple of years ago, the next most coveted football related item for me is, of course, a plush Super Pepino. Sure there's a link to my ko-fi below but I'll be honest, a Super Pepino would mean much much more to me.
For comments, clarifications, questions or corrections drop me a line at thewayutalkaboutball@gmail.com
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