Nein? Nein! NINE!
Kick Off
It seems that every week at the moment begins with “SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED THIS WEEK!” but I guess that’s what you get when it’s the beginning of the season and we’re coming up to transfer deadline day.
There have been a few high profile moves this week. Maupay to Everton (one little bitch to replace another - Richarlison), Belotti to Roma, Lodi to Forest, Isak to Newcastle and of course Antony on the cusp of completing his move to United. And those are just the ones off the top of my head. I’m hoping for all sorts of excitement and crazy moves by 11pm on Thursday.
So on to the leagues and the games themselves.
Let’s start over in Germany and the Bundesliga where, after last week’s abject nonsense, Dortmund managed to win again, 0-1 against Hertha Berlin. A friend was there and it looked brilliant. The mini Gelbe Wand was out in force. This puts Dortmund up to a princely 5th in the table.
Elsewhere Union battered Schalke 1-6 and Gladbach held Bayern to a 1-1 draw, thanks in main to an outstanding performance from keeper Yann Sommer. This put Bayern and Union on equal points, Bayern top only due to their better goal difference.
In Spain, Barcelona kept a clean sheet and ran out 4-0 winners against Valladolid. Lewandowski scored a brace on his 34th birthday, Pedri got in on the act and then there was a lesser spotted Sergi Roberto goal in the dying embers. Barça are now 3rd behind joint leaders Real and Betis.
Speaking of Real, after taking the lead early on via a Vini Jr strike they clawed a win with two late goals from on fire Benzema after Espanyol equalised just before half time.
In Serie A my Milan boys are second on goal difference behind Napoli, who seem to be surviving just fine without Mertens and Insigne.
Against Bologna on Saturday there were two beautiful goals from Leão and my bae Giroud who scored with such an elegant, gorgeous strike. He also remains one of the few players who is completely rocking their bleach job. (Looking at you Sergi Roberto!).
I finally watched some Ligue 1 this weekend, PSG v Monaco. It was fine, PSG didn’t look great and finally dropped points against a dogged Monaco. To me though, the best thing about watching Ligue 1 on BT is listening to the myriad ways Jonathan Pearce gets himself in an absolute state about the shenanigans. He must’ve used the word “unseemly” about 100 times last night. I just find it so entertaining.
Elsewhere in the league Montpellier battered Brest 0-7 in what is becoming something of a trend this season… which brings us nicely to the Premiere League.
There’s so much going on in the Premier League right now. Do we talk about Arsenal keeping it going with a fourth successive win after coming back from behind against Fulham, a game they’d have probably lost last season? Or do we concentrate on City, also coming back from behind, to win 4-2 against Palace with a Silva goal and a hat trick from Haaland? Do we ask why, despite getting that win, they seem so leaky this season, conceding 5 in two games is unprecedented for City. Perhaps we could mention Richarlison’s showboating and Brennan Johnson’s reaction? Maybe you want to hear about Brighton, who are currently 4th with the same points as Spurs and City and how perhaps, Potter’s coaching is finally getting material rewards?
Oh hey what about the fact that West Ham finally got off the mark against a worryingly bad Villa side? Or that Leicester seem in real trouble this year? United won two games in a row after two appalling starts, let’s mention that.
I jest. These are all worthy subjects and things to consider but you know what the main subject today is going to be. It is of course Liverpool’s demolition of a dreadful, not fit for purpose Bournemouth side.
After defeat to United last Monday there was a feeling that Bournemouth would bear the brunt of the rage but I don’t think anyone would have predicted a 9 goal thrashing. Let alone a 9 goal thrashing that had seven different scorers (including one own goal, sorry Chris Mepham) of which none were Mo Salah.
The fact that Bobby Firmino played a blinder of course helped. He reached his 100th Liverpool goal among his brace (one of which was a cheeky no-look tap in) and a hat trick of assists. Luis Diaz opened and closed the scoring with the rest coming from an adorably tearful Harvey Elliott, Virgil Van Dijk, Trent and “mini Trent” Carvalho.
Can we definitively say that Liverpool are back after winning against the worst team in the league? (don’t let the table fool you, Bournemouth are Bad). No, probably not, but the confidence and the encouragement this will give the team also cannot be underestimated.
There’s a full midweek set of fixtures across Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday this week. Will Arsenal manage to make it five in a row against downtrodden Villa or will this be the game that turns things around for Stevie G? Will United manage three games on the trot? Can Leeds and Brighton consolidate their storming starts. The answer, looking at who each of these teams is playing is “probably” but this is the Premier League and trying to accurately predict it is a fool’s errand.
Half Time
Half time this week is a review of the Design Museum’s Football: Designing the Beautiful Game exhibition. Unfortunately I can’t encourage you all to go because it finished today and I only went yesterday but it really was worth it!
The exhibition takes you through all manner of “design” items associated with football. It starts with balls and boots, formations and officiating, with a nod to injury and recovery. There were boots from Messi, Iniesta, Xavi, Zidane and Matthias Sammer. Spammer’s boots were adidas, after he signed a sponsorship deal with them, however Dortmund were sponsored by Nike. Insisting on wearing his own boots, Sammer customised them with a fake Nike swoosh. Something similar we still see today when players wear blackout boots between contracts. The thing that struck me however was how small they were! Man has wee feet.
It was also interesting to read that the famous picture of Bukayo on the unicorn inflatable was in fact part of recovery and not just the boys gadding about in some downtime.
There was a lot, although probably not enough, of vintage and retro shirts on display. Including these two which made me sweat just looking at them. Imagine having to play in goal in a thick woollen sweater!
I also really enjoyed a lot of the vintage stuff from the early days of the game, including the incredible poster advertising a women’s game which was particularly exciting to me as, without wishing to doxx myself in too much detail, is all around where I live.
The most moving exhibit was this beautiful banner remembering those lost at Hillsborough and Heysel. Forgive the clumsy panorama, it was sadly hung in a spot where it wasn’t especially easy to photograph. I cannot overstate how gorgeous it was in the flesh though. It was clearly created with such care and attention to detail.
Finally the exhibition walked through the crowd experience with details of various stadia and the planning of the Tottenham Hotspur Stadium along with old seating and an ancient turnstile from Wembley.
This lead to my favourite stuff, the tournament poster design section. There was also a replica of the FA Cup on display and a Ciao mascot which made me gasp and yell “CIAO!” (for those who’ve been here since the beginning you’ll know my undying love for Italia ‘90 and how it was that tournament that cemented my football interest into a football obsession).
Thirst Trap
Normally I’m on top of the thirst trap. It’s usually the first section I write and I’ll have often created the picture collage days before I put the whole newsletter together.
Not today though. Today we have a last minute entry rolling under the closing wall a la Indiana Jones. It’s a simple one. A solitary picture that I was altered to earlier this morning and which, frankly, knocked me for six.
And so a very Happy Birthday and a very “hi, how you doin’” to young Thomas Tuchel. (Disclaimer: I also fancy current Thomas Tuchel but that’s another story 😌)
Merch Stand
Today has seen a number of World Cup kits drop. Now as I’m sure you’re aware by now I will of course be doing a thread of my ratings (unless between now and then I find someone who’ll pay me to do it for a publication) but I need to mention the Germany kits because they are so gorgeous.
This home kit is stunning. The beautiful flag trim (Germany are lucky that their flag looks so delicious as a trim), the controversial-but-personally-pro central badge in an antique gold, it’s just extremely lovely.
And then there’s the away kit. Hold me! It’s fucking gorgeous. I love the deep red, almost maroon and the snazzy zigzag pattern. I think the gold trim is the same gold as the home kit but with the red it looks more of a bronzey rose gold. The badge and the logo are more traditionally placed here and I like that contrast with the home kit.
Puma have also released their away kits and yeah… I’ll leave my thoughts on those to the thread.
This week also saw the release of the big one, the one we’ve all been waiting for, the Panini World Cup 22 Sticker Album.
If slick photos of players aren’t your thing then maybe you’d prefer to indulge in something a little wonkier and a lot more charming and instead get your hands on No Score Draws’ Unofficial World Cup Album which is available for pre-order now.
It’s a busy one this week because we’ve also had the Champions League balls revealed for both the men’s and women’s competitions. I think they’re both great but the men’s just edges it for me as I prefer the white to the silver.
Finally I have to give a shout to this pin which I snapped up faster than Usain Bolt when I saw it on my insta stories.
Full Time
I loved this video of the United players’ cars. It’s not just personal bias that makes me like Eriksen’s best, it just is the nicest car! Would like to see what more players drive tbh (do worry that none of their number plates were blurred but hey ho ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)
Amazing stuff from the legendary Clive Tyldesley here
Loved this video from the Lionesses after Jill Scott announced her retirement.
Sorry to big myself up here but I was expecting this tweet to do better 😅
And that’s that for this week! Scrolling through my TL for content for this section there’s so much more I could’ve talked about. I haven’t mentioned the European draws (lots of good fixtures on the horizon), or really touched on Jill Scott retiring (other than that one tweet). But I don’t want to keep you too long on a Bank Holiday!
Enjoy your week and see you next Monday! ⚽️
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