Roman Scandal
Another week, another newsletter
The Week In Ball
In an ideal world I'd be kicking off this newsletter with a review of Madrid vs. PSG and we could spend time revelling in the rush and madness of the game, of Benzema's skill, of PSG's PSGness. However as any football fan, or even casual follower of the sport, knows, we can't have nice things. There's always something lurking, ready to bite us on the arse.
So we come to Chelsea and more specifically to Roman Abramovich. On Thursday the UK government sanctioned him for his involvement in the Ukraine invasion. The knock on effect of this was that Chelsea are now under special jurisdiction to operate as a football club and must work with all sorts of tight restrictions. Some time later, Three jumped ship as shirt sponsor.
It would be disingenuous to say I was immediately concerned, that I sat at my laptop wringing my hands about what all this would mean for the future of football. No, it was time to let the memes fly and boy did I. I don't want Chelsea to go under, truly, but there is naturally a thrill when something like this happens to both a direct rival and a team that is pretty universally hated outside of its fanbase. Can you imagine the reaction if this had been Brighton or Southampton or Villa?
The truth is though that this will affect many many people who have no connection to Roman's other business ventures. I remember how sick I felt when Arsenal were involved in the SuperLeague so I have sympathy with how Chelsea fans are feeling now (not the ones chanting his name though, sorry but you've forfeited any goodwill with that) and it's a horrible position for Tuchel, the players and all the staff of the club to be in, although the aforementioned chanting and this about Ukrainian flags at the Norwich game is hardly covering them in glory. You could argue that someone of moral fortitude wouldn't have taken a job there in the first place but to that I say give it a rest, who among us hasn't supported or liked something knowing its origins are dubious? That's capitalism baby! (Though that’s not to say they should be given a pass with difficult questions, Tuchel has mostly dealt with these well but Eddie Howe isn’t doing himself any favours with his responses)
No, the people at fault here are the Premier League and the Government who have been dazzled by the promise of glitz and glamour and endless riches. They're the ones who should be caring about the origins of the money, the reasons people like Abramovich, Qatar and the Saudis want to be involved in English football and the knock on effect this has had and will continue to have on the game.
After I wrote this first part the government decided to disqualify Abramovich as director of Chelsea to which I say: now do Newcastle United and then have a good look at Manchester City.
Right, let's move on to the actual football.
Saturday was a sparse day with only three matches. Liverpool did what they needed against Brighton, despite some slightly shaky performances throughout. Again though it can't be stressed enough how brilliant Luis Diaz is. His enthusiasm, movement, pace, creativity... he's a marvel.
I also want to wade into the red card debate about Sanchez here. He basically attempted to kill Diaz yet escaped without so much as a yellow. I've seen it suggested that because Diaz went on to score it negates any previous action, like the offside letting Pickford off the hook when he did something similar to Van Dijk and while this may be technically correct it's just another reason we need to take a good look at the rules and decide what's prioritised in the modern game. A goal is absolutely the pinnacle of an outcome but it also feels wrong that someone can commit such a dangerous tackle and suffer zero consequences (though I'm sure his social media will be fun over the next few days, if he has one).
The sole 3 O'Clock KO saw Brentford beat Burnley at the death with two late goals from Ivan Toney, one a penalty after the denial of a goalscoring opportunity and therefore a red for Nathan Collins after he barged Toney off the ball and before that a glorious Eriksen pass had set him up for the opener. I have a lot of goodwill towards Brentford and of course Eriksen (more on him later, ahem) and will be thrilled if they avoid the drop, which by all accounts they should.
The final match of the day took place at Old Trafford where Spurs travelled to fight out for European places.
It started off fairly quietly, then Ronaldo was denied a penalty for handball (which one hundred percent was the correct decision) and the fury of a thousand angry ancestors descended. His opener was powered by that anger, a bullet kick from outside the area, and he only got angrier as the game went on, leading to two further goals including one, remarkably given United’s lack of them this season, from a corner. These goals put him at the top of the charts of goals scored in a competitive career.
The loss also continues Spurs rollercoaster 2022 and means it's highly likely they're going to win against Brighton on Wednesday (sorry to admit this but I hope they do, I put Decky in my FPL team this year and I want him to get me points, no, I have no morals).
We're going to go chronologically this week and talk about Milan v Empoli next.
I forwent my usual Saturday 90s blockbuster to watch the game and, despite often telling you to do this without following my own advice, actually decided this time I'd keep my eye on one player and see what happened.
This came about because I was struck after a few minutes by just how noticeable and different Sandro Tonali looked on the pitch. Yes he has low socks and that always makes a player stand out but as I tweeted it was something else. There was a casualness to his stance, his shoulders looked relaxed and he was constantly bouncing on the balls of his feet, darting here and there into space, watching the ball, doing tiny kicks and flicks when it appeared at his feet and someone else was moving forward. He was so fluid and easy to watch.
Unfortunately he did stop at one point and looked like he was going to puke which wasn't great and made me wonder if my eyes had been deceiving me but he pulled it together and saw out the game on the pitch.
Away from Tonali, Milan managed to score early with a beautiful goal from Kalulu that flew so straight and true into the net that it reminded me of Zlatan's amazing free kick from earlier in the season.
The win gave Milan a temporary 5 point lead at the top of Serie A ahead of the Turin derby on Sunday evening which has just ended in a draw, leaving, maths fans, Milan four points clear and Inter down in 3rd behind Napoli who beat Verona 2-1. Could this be the season that they regain the Scudetta?
On Sunday then, we began at the beleaguered Stamford Bridge for the Sanctioned vs. the Should Be Sanctioned derby.
It... was not great. Neither team could finish, Werner was terminally offside, Havertz avoided a red (correctly in my opinion) and Newcastle couldn't break Chelsea down. It certainly wasn't one of those breathless 0-0s with end to end action, indeed the best part of the match was the Newcastle fans singing 'Mike Ashley, he's coming for you' at the Chelsea faithful. Very funny.
Eventually however Chelsea prevailed with Kai Havertz scoring a lovely goal in the 89th minute.
Elsewhere there was a packed 2pm schedule with four other games being played. Leeds managed their first win under new manager Jesse Marsch, beating poor Norwich 2-1, the winner coming from teenager Joe Gelhardt in the 94th minute; Everton, who look more and more on shaky ground, perhaps to be saved only by their games in hand, lost to a solitary goal from Wolves' Connor Coady; West Ham prevailed at home to Villa, the scoring being opened by an emotional Andriy Yarmolenko and finished off by Pablo Fornals, Jacob Ramsey bagging a consolation goal on the 90 minute mark; finally Watford stunned Southampton with two goals from Cucho Hernandez, managing to score in the right net this week.
The big ticket game of the day however was Arsenal v. Leicester at 4:30pm. It started with all the pundits saying they thought Arsenal would do it and how improved they are (they are) and what a good job they're doing (they are) but it didn't stop my stomach twisting in knots until the final whistle. Leicester are tricky. They're having a bad season but they can and do pull it out of the bag every so often and my personal dislike of them made me even more confident that they were going to do it against Arsenal.
Frankly though, why was I ever worrying? This was one of the most accomplished and joyous performances I've seen Arsenal give this season. It wasn't a battle scarred fight like it was against Wolves, both times, or an eventual win against Norwich after a hideous start to a season, relief more than joy, no this was a fluid, fun, barnstorming performance.
Martin Ødegaard did so many outrageous backheels I was on the floor in a puddle by the end of it, his creativity and vision made me YELL.
Ramsdale saved a shot so well it drew this reaction from Brendan Rodgers.
Then there was a tackle from Ben White that made me shriek it was so good and the whole team were tight and disciplined and on point. Of course Leicester had their moments, at one point having 88% possession, but each time Arsenal shut them down and bullied them back into their own half.
The goals came via Thomas Partey, banging in a corner from Martinelli, followed in the second half by a penalty from Lacazette.
The handball? It was a handball. For me it looked so obvious what Soyuncu was trying to do, that whether or not he made contact (which he seemed to), for me it was far more of an offence than the rightly ignored handball shout in the United game.
The next fixture for Arsenal is Liverpool at the Emirates on Wednesday. I don't know if I think we'll win but having felt very set on losing I can't pretend I'm not now vibrating with excitement at the thought of the game.
Over in Germany, Mainz had their match postponed yet again due to Covid and Bayern dropped points against Hoffenheim. With Dortmund squeezing a win against Arminia they're now 7 points behind with a game in hand. It certainly doesn't feel like there's a title race in the offing but...maybe? Maaaaaybe? Perhaps by the time Der Klassiker rolls around in April it might be a title decider? Fingers crossed we get some excitement from the Bundesliga this season.
In Spain there were a lot of very boring results! Atleti looked good value on Friday winning 2-1 against Cadiz but otherwise it was, as Sid Lowe pointed out, a very binary code of a weekend. That was, until Sunday evening.
As with Arsenal, Barcelona pulled out one of the best performances I've seen them give this season in the second half of their game against Osasuna. (I missed the first half because I was watching Crufts, dogs are important OK?). They were already 3-0 up after a brace from Ferran Torres with Auba adding a third and some of the play, again, as with Arsenal, had me purring. Dani Alves can still put a pass on a pinhead and he's not the only one, Dani Alba is still on fire and with the bruising, energetic play of Gavi, still unable to tie his laces, creativity and movement from Pedri and a resurgent Dembele they're really in a purple patch. They sit third on goal difference, above Atleti, and with a game in hand. It'd only take them winning their next two games and Sevilla stumbling to push them into second, an unthinkable position earlier in the season.
I have to say, all in all, given the shitshow going on around Chelsea and all the many questions this gives rise to surrounding the other ownerships in the Premier League, this weekend football really did itself proud on the pitch. I'm naturally biased because all five (I'm counting Arsenal Women here too) of my teams won and in two cases won fabulously, but if you look past some of the results and some of the refereeing there was some real quality and joyous play on show.
The gameweek in England still hasn't finished. Man City are yet to play with the red half of Liverpool temporarily backing one of their banana skin teams, Crystal Palace and then of course they themselves go to the Emirates on Wednesday, with Spurs Brighton and Everton Newcastle sandwiching them on either side.
Kick Off
Double pivot this, double pivot that... but what does it mean? Yes, we're back to normal defining well worn phrases I hear on TV/podcasts and just nod along to. Yeah, I think, they're in a double pivot, makes sense *sweating dog with human hands dot gif*
The Coaches Voice defines the double pivot thus
A double pivot is a withdrawn central-midfield or defensive-midfield pairing. They are positioned in front of the central defenders, inside the full-backs or wing-backs, and behind the attacking midfielders. The duo is most commonly used in a 4-2-3-1 formation, operating behind a single number 10.
See below for a visual, a reigniting of my handwritten formation, last seen when I wrote about offside.
Looking at it now I'd probably tease out those attacking mids but you get the idea. The centre backs make up the bulk of the defence, with the fullbacks pinging the ball up and down the channels to the attacking midfielders and the 10 while the double pivot protects the centre of the park and encourages the ball forwards, giving that area both width and protection.
They're there to help defend and prevent counter attacks while also being tricksy enough to win balls and move them forwards without losing possession, plus having the positional nouse to overlap with any incoming fullbacks.
It may help to think of the movement on a pitch like Pac-Man. You're Pac Man, moving towards your goal, gobbling up space while trying to avoid the ghosts (opposition players) coming at you, which involves both having a clear idea of where you're going and the lines and channels open to you but also a second eye on where the ghosts are and what options are open to you to avoid them. I appreciate that Pac-Man doesn't pass to another Pac-Man but think of this as many individual Pac-Men playing their own game against their own ghosts across the pitch. With a double pivot you get more options to both block the ghosts and move away from them.
Does this work? I dunno, I enjoyed it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
The {Offside} Thirst Trap
This is as much of a surprise to me as it is to anyone else but I have been overwhelmed with desire for this week's Thirst Trap recently.
Friends: Christian Eriksen
When he was at Spurs I always considered him a budget Jan Vertonghen (not in terms of ability by the way! I’m not that crazy). I don't know why they always went together in my mind, being as they are very different players and very different looking people, but for some reason it stuck and for a few years I'd wonder if I did fancy him and then remember that no, it was Jan I liked (and still like, he's an all-timer).
Unpacking my reasons for suddenly being utterly enamoured with Christian would probably take a shrink, I mean it can't just be because he cheated death can it? But let's also not push that to the side and pretend it's got nothing to do with it. Seeing him at Brentford playing so well and being so happy and overall just being so positive about life, it's nice, this is a really great piece on his move. And he's handsome, so handsome, I don't know why I didn't see it before. Look at his beautiful face, I mean...
Merch Stand
AC Milan have created a commemorative jersey with the help of Andriy Shevchenko to raise funds for Ukraine.
Roma have also produced a special derby kit for their game against Lazio on Sunday
Extra Time
Wheels or Doors? Doors or Wheels?
Firstly, it's wheels, so make a note of that. Secondly, I don't normally jump on this kind of thing, which is usually overdone and tedious but for some reason I can't get enough of Wheels Or Doors content.
The Spurs video on this is delicious. I may not agree with him but I've never liked Harry Kane more than listening to him insisting it has to be doors because of cupboards. I worried for Sonny though because the guys surrounded him so rabidly demanding he choose doors.
The best video however has to be Bristol City's Ryley Towler giving such in depth thought to the answer (which he also wrongly concludes is doors, what is wrong with you door folk). It's so delightfully wholesome and although Bristolians are basically mortal enemies to those of us from Swindon, it's always a joy to hear a [semi] local accent.
Truly though if you have any other Wheels and Doors footballer content please please send it my way.
After Messi and Neymar got booed by PSG fans on Wednesday, Newell’s Old Boys sent this absolute banger of a tweet
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