Threegulls
Kick Off
Whether you noticed or not, I took a week off from TWUTAB last week. I was on an actual holiday. My first time since Before that I’ve been abroad. It was a lovely short break in Bilbao which of course had some football content involved.
San Mames stadium, Sociedad graffiti in San Sebastián and an Athletic Club flag. There was no La Liga though so no games for me.
I also paid tribute to the blessed Mikel whilst in San Sebastián
It was a lovely time and I watched a lot of Premier League football, which was all fantastic, especially with actually excitable Spanish commentary. It was an amazing weekend of wild results and exciting games so it’s a shame to be back this week after the results of this weekend.
The biggest shame, for me, was of course the result of Arsenal Brighton. There’s no shame in losing to Brighton who I really like and rate, but as with everything this season it was the timing and the circumstances of it that made it hurt more than normal
Arsenal were scintillating against Newcastle last week. A win at SJP is nothing to be sniffed at, especially when you also manage to keep a clean sheet. This week, not so much. Yes Brighton are a great team, last week against Everton was clearly a weird blip, but I expected more. I think everyone wanted us to go out fighting, not end with a whimper. OK so there are two games left but what do they matter now? Really? Pride for sure, but nothing else will change. City aren’t going to slip up. They just aren’t. Maybe this is what we need to go out on a high, freedom, no pressure, we can’t be caught so we’re done. We’ve got Champions League, let’s just go for it for the last two games.
Elsewhere in the Premier League it felt a bit boring? Compared to last week anyway.
Of course poor (and poor) Southampton finally felt the blade of the axe as their relegation was confirmed after a 0-2 defeat to Fulham. Leeds scraped a point against Newcastle in what was probably the best game of the weekend and it may go towards saving them but it seems unlikely, especially if Leicester do an unlikely double over Liverpool tonight. Fingers crossed they don’t.
Forest are still hit and miss too. They got a draw with Chelsea after going ahead, then losing the lead to two Raheem Sterling goals, only to draw level again shortly after the second. This leaves Chelsea 11th and West London resolutely determined to represent the exact middle of the table.
Despite losing, West Ham probably, Wolves and most notably Bournemouth are now safe from the drop. Bournemouth of course have been absolutely making the most of this. I remember maybe just two or three weeks ago Gary Neville said they were going to be relegated in almost every sentence he uttered…
Oh, and City won.
Over in Europe, let’s stop in Spain where Barcelona beat Espanyol 2-4 in El Gran Debri, to secure the La Liga title for the 27th time in their history
Their celebration on Espanyol’s pitch tipped the fans over the edge (for context there were no Barcelona fans allowed at the fixture and Espanyol are looking nailed on for relegation) and they invaded, causing the team and all the staff to sprint off the field to safety. The scenes continued with hoardings being ripped and chairs thrown. Now I know we all like Scenes but I think it’s fair to say these are the kinds of scenes we actually don’t want to see.
So that’s two of the European leagues sewn up (with the third, the EPL, imminent).
In France it’s almost certainly going to be PSG’s year again, although it is mathematically possible for Lens (Lens!) to win with the three games left. Neither of them have particularly troubling fixtures but PSG do have many blunders in them this season so it’s definitely worth keeping an eye on.
In Italy, the other league that is, as we know, done and dusted, we have the saga of the Champions League places left to conclude. With the unknown quantity of Juve and their expected points deduction it’s almost impossible to call how this will play out.
If we look at the form of those fighting for the Champions League spot it’s not great. It’s very much been a case of “you have it, no you”.
As it stands, with three games to go and 9 points available, Lazio are currently on course for UCL, Milan for UEL and Roma for UECL, unless they win the UEL then they’ll have Champions League and I guess Milan will get UECL and Lazio UEL? (I’m so sorry I cannot be arsed to look it up #journalism). But then if Juve get knocked down then it could see Milan in the spare UCL spot, Roma in the UEL again and Atalanta in the Conference. Unless Roma win the UEL in which case…
This leaves us with the Bundesliga to talk about.
At lunchtime on Saturday Bayern played Dortmund’s fiercest rivals, Schalke, and, well, they tonked them 6-0. It was never going to be the case that relegation fodder Schalke would do their neighbours a favour but this was a real capitulation.
They are in the playoff spot however, likely to play Hamburger SV as things stand with Darmstadt and Heidenheim [googles both] likely to come up. With two games left in the 2. Bundesliga too though and the points quite tight, it could all change. (It won’t happen this year but I’m begging, begging 1. FCK to be promoted soon because I am an easily amused child.)
In the title race it was over to Dortmund, playing in the “Top Spiel” against the other Borussia, Mochengladbach. And boy did Dortmund take the reigns. When they’re good they’re so. fucking. good. As it was in this game. Donyell Malen opened the scoring after just five minutes, then Jude Bellingham took an ice cold penalty, Haller got a brace (one of which was a filthy backheel) and finally Gio Reyna bundled one home with the last kick of the match to make it 5-2.
Yes, they let in two but more importantly they scored five. And they were all great in their own way. Not only that but they played wonderfully and the Signal Iduna looked utterly beautiful in the bright Spring sunshine. Will they do it? Will Bayern blink?
Half Time
I was hoping there wouldn’t be anything to write about this week but today this article about Arsenal’s ‘Ashburton Army’ was published in which it was confirmed that there were many horrible anti-Semitic messages sent by its members in 2019.
There isn’t really much else to say other than this is disgusting and has no place in the game full stop, but especially in a North London team where there’s a large population of Jewish people and a large number of Jewish supporters.
I’ve enjoyed what the AA have done this season if I’m honest, I sat above them during the Sporting game and the atmosphere was fantastic, especially when I heard others sat elsewhere complaining it was flat, and yeah, I feel shit about it now! And stupid!
It’s hard when you want things you’re passionate about to be decent and share your values, when you worry that you’re going to be tarred with the same brush when part or all of them doesn’t. It’s been hard all season because of previously much discussed issues and this just adds to that constant background heaviness and disappointment. I trust that the club are taking it seriously and that they are committed to equality and diversity but it’s not great that formal action took this long (I accept the victim said they didn’t want any further action) and is just another poor decision in regards to criminal actions by those endorsed by the club.
Full Time
Crying at Ruben Dias’ birthday cake. It’s so cute and normal and looks like a cake I’ve made before (mine didn’t fall over though, just saying). Also I just love that he posted it.
Loved this tweet from Burnley
I laughed a lot at this
In hindsight I should have said Aldi as they had that spat with M&S but still, this deserved more!
Guys Being Dudes
Delightful from Fulham
The first Eurovision/Football crossover of this edition, more to come…
Finally a reader submitted entry!
Shirt of the Week
Shirt of the Week this week is Juve’s 23/24 Home kit. My god I love it. It’s so so nice. The stripes with the yellow detailing is gorgeous. And the fact it’ll piss off a load of plain stripe traditionalists makes it even better.
The corresponding warm up jersey is lovely too.
Thirst Trap
The Thirst Trap this week is the brief, unexpected, yet delightful appearance of (ex-) Liverpool legend (don’t dispute this, he played in the Legends game earlier this season) Ragnar Klavan at Eurovision.
Here he was then
And here he is now, looking dapper while giving Estonia’s douze points and calling it a ‘boss night’.
And that, my friends, mes amies, meine freunde, amici miei y mis amigos, is that.
Join me next week where I pretend that City haven’t won the league and big up literally everything else that will have happened between now and then!
Best thirst pick yet!