Two Goals One Cup
Two Goals One Cup
Yes I've done a variation of this title before but it's a good one, I'm being bawdy Lynn, enjoy it!
Kick Off
I know I say this every week but so much has happened since the last newsletter. Can you believe it was just under a week ago that Liverpool 2 Real Madrid 5 happened? It feels like forever.
Too far ago really to go over again, like poking at week old bread, hoping if you pick off the mold it’ll taste OK, when everyone’s already had the best, freshest bits.
So instead let’s skip Europe, apart from to briefly say that Hector’s coming home which has filled my heart with joy, and go to Friday evening? Yeah why not.
Fulham Wolves. I can’t lie this was one of the most boring fixtures I’ve seen this season. It sounded like there were about 20 people at the Cottage and it was no surprise either as they both failed to spark any kind of excitement. It ended 1-1 which was probably fair but fucked my Fantasy team and that was that.
On Saturday there was no early kick off, presumably that was supposed to be either Newcastle Brighton or United Brentford, so I had a manicure and a pedicure and then came home for BT Sport Score and a delightful spiral into extreme anxiety.
There are 14 games left to play this season and I already can’t cope. I can’t decide if watching a game is better or worse than waiting for LiveScore updates and every fixture fills me with fear be it Bournemouth or Newcastle (and don’t even mention the away game at City).
We did it though, with a comfortable 0-1 victory that felt, from the POV of someone not watching, like anything but, especially given that a couple of big decisions seemed to go against us.
Elsewhere West Ham stepped up with an important 4-0 win over Forest and Leeds took advantage of new manager bounce with a narrow win over relegation’s most likely, Southampton.
Villa bounced back from the nonsense of last Saturday to beat Everton 0-2 and City were ruthless in their win over Bournemouth, who had their moments and even managed to scrape a consolation goal but nevertheless were overwhelmed by City’s quality. However, as I and others tweeted, unless the league goes down to goal difference, it really doesn’t matter how many you score if you’re not top of the table.
After that Liverpool ground out a terrible 0-0 draw with Palace that was just a really dreadful watch. It also didn’t help that Darwin wasn’t playing as I’d put him in my team and captained him for their double gameweek. You win some you lose some huh!
On Sunday there was time to squeeze in one little Premier League game before the Carabao Cup Final and thankfully it was a good one.
I’d forgotten that it was this season that we had the infamous showdown at the Bridge between Conte and Tuchel and while this return leg didn’t live up to that amount of fuckery there was a nice amount of bite and needle in the game as well as a nonsense of a red card situation when Ziyech was deemed to have brought his hands to Emerson Royal’s face.
For me, it wasn’t a red, it certainly wasn’t worse than anything else anyone had done in that mini-brawl, but for some reason Stuart Attwell deemed it was, solely on the advices of the VAR and only once he’d given it did he go to the monitor and Ziyech was cleared of his crimes. It was bizarre, clumsy and embarrassing to be honest.
After that, Spurs continued their “dreadful” season with a 2-0 victory, with goals from Oliver Skipp and Harry Kane which keeps them in contention for the Champions League places (terrible!)
Before we talk about the big event of the weekend, let’s pop over to the continent.
In France Nice beat Monaco 0-3 and PSG won Le Classique putting them eight points clear at the top. There were a couple of brilliant goals from Mbappé who is just so fucking fast. The move for the second goal where he passes the ball then speeds up for it to be returned to him? Woof.
In La Liga both Madrid and Barcelona stumbled; Madrid drawing the derby with Atleti 1-1 and Barça losing 1-0 to Almeria. Almeria! This changes little however, with Barcelona still seven points clear at the top.
In the Bundesliga, Dortmund won 0-1 on Saturday against Hoffenheim putting them on top of the pile before Sunday’s clash between Bayern and Union. A win for either would put them at the top, so for me, a draw was the way forward.
Sadly Bayern didn’t get the memo and pooped the party with a 3-0 win. This does however only put them top via their absurd goal difference but with Dortmund at RB Leipzig and Bayern at beleaguered Stuttgart at the weekend they could begin their charge to pull clear again.
Finally then, to Serie A where Napoli are now a ridiculous 18 points clear of both the Milan teams who are on 47 to Napoli’s 65. Inter stumbled against fly in the ointment Bologna but Milan pulled themselves together to win 2-0 against Atalanta.
It was a spirited performance from Milan, perhaps bolstered by the return of Mike Maignan and Zlatan available on the bench. They took the lead via a wonderstrike from Theo Hernandez. That it’s gone down as an og against the Atalanta goalie is a (technically accurate) crime, he deserves that goal and should claim it.
To round up the round up then, to Wembley and the Carabao Cup Final. The battle of the Uniteds. Both apparently trying to win a trophy after a drought, even though United last won something in 2017? Anyway, it felt old school, but new eras. For those not fans of either club there were pluses and minuses to both winning.
As it was, it was United who took the crown, the red ones, no-one calls Newcastle ‘United’, don’t do that joke and overall they deserved it.
In the first half, once the first goal, from wonder signing Casemiro no less, had gone in, it felt like it might a drubbing when the second followed just six minutes later but in the second half Newcastle got it together a bit and it was more of a fight but frankly, it was always going to Manchester wasn’t it?
Ten Hag has done wonders with the team since he took over. Astute signings in Martinez and Casemiro, reinvigorating Rashford, nurturing Garnacho and of course, for me, the most important (and not just because I hate him), ditching Ronaldo. He’s also likeable and interesting and while I get the anxiety hard at United doing well (please, I beg, leave it there, let us have the league) it feels right and proper. Come at me for that if you will but I think, deep down, you know I’m right.
Half Time
This week I want to use ‘Half Time’ to pay tribute to John Motson who died last week aged 77.
For many of us he was the voice of football. Instantly recognisable, often imitated, often parodied, but never bettered (with perhaps the exception Barry Davies who was on a par).
Famous for his sheepskin coat and encyclopedic knowledge and love of the game he was a one off. He also had the measure of the tragedy at Hillsborough instantly.
If you have a moment I highly recommend watching the tribute to him at the beginning of either Match of the Day of Football Focus this week, really lovely stuff.
RIP Motty
Full Time
Poignant scenes in the Super Lig
Poignant scenes also across the US for the start of the MLS
This picture of Granit Xhaka on Saturday, taken by Stuart ‘I fucking love my club’ Macfarlane is stone cold
Speaking of Granit
Annoyingly adorable
José moving into his Don era
Have posted this on various SM, several times on one, to barely a ripple when it absolutely destroyed me. Please enable my Enzo agenda. Thanks.
A kit clash crime
This incident was the most awkward I’ve felt watching TV for a long time
Union vs. Union in the UEL
Shirt of the Week
This week’s SOTW is Milan’s collaboration with KOCHÉ.
I think it’s beautiful. I love the design, the bright red, the combination of patterns. A really great all round shirt that looked brilliant on the pitch last night too.
Thirst Trap
This week I’m going a bit left-field. This isn’t someone new for me, but it’s more of a gentle fancying than an embarrassingly teenage crush. He was one of the first on my list when I really started getting into the Bundesliga but unfortunately he plays for a team that currently seems to bounce back and forth between it and the 2.Bundesliga.
He’s a keeper, always an immediate tick, German, double tick, loves his enormous dogs, loves beer and seems like a decent, down to earth guy. What really sealed it and decided him as this week’s TT was the pic in the middle of the collage. He’s just so beautiful. What a gorgeous gorgeous face.
Anyway, please enjoy Schalke 04’s 6’6” Ralf Fährmann.
That’s it for this week, have a good one all and I’ll be back here next week. Bye! x