Unbelievable Jeff!
Unbelievable Jeff!
The Week In Ball
The combination of the fact that in football things are Always Happening and the Bank Holiday means that the Champions League feels like it was a lifetime ago now. I’ve played myself by not writing it up at the time so now I’m left with only hazy memories and the ghost of the orgasm I had watching Benzema’s penalty.
So yeah, the Champions League. Tuesday’s game between Real and City, which I’d had pegged as the duller of the two, was such a thrilling and exciting match. The obvious disappointment from my anti-City household turned to glee as Real somehow fought back to make it 4-3 and of course, that penalty. Oh god that penalty. (This is a great angle of it)
Then we come to Wednesday. Liverpool v Villarreal. A calmer, more studied match but not without its moments. Liverpool scored twice to give them the advantage going into the game tomorrow (Tuesday) and I would fully expect them to get it done, but you can never tell with "disgraceful" Villarreal. Emery is a cup competition master and football is almost impossible to predict...
Finally on Thursday we had the Europa fixtures. The fact that Kevin Trapp was within stalking distance was enough for me but there was football to be played too and West Ham left one goal down after Eintracht scored in the first minute and then again in the 54th after the Irons had got one back. It was a spirited performance with a near equaliser from Jarrod Bowen at the death but going to Germany is going to be tough.
With Leipzig taking a 1-0 win to Ibrox we may see an all German final. One in the eye for the Bundesliga Tax crew. But as with West Ham to Eintracht, Leipzig to Rangers is going to be a tricky game. They have the quality to win but will the atmosphere overwhelm?
Lastly, Roma drew with Leicester and in a game I didn't see but sounded brilliant, Feyenoord beat Marseille 2-3. Both the League and the Conference have been really good this year with lots of excellent match ups (to quote from Stadio "heritage matches") and I really do hope it keeps it up next year... especially if Arsenal end up playing in either and not the UCL.
OK, to the Leagues!
Let's start with a quick nod to the WSL. Chelsea beat Birmingham 1-0 yesterday to remain top of the table, however with a game in hand, Arsenal thrashed Villa 7-0 and if they can beat Spurs in the NLD on Wednesday, it will be down to the last game of the season where Chelsea play third place Man United and Arsenal play mid-table West Ham.
Next let's go to Germany. I mean... it's not been a great season, my interest levels have dipped severely, I can't lie, though it was lovely to see Mainz beating Bayern 3-1. Elsewhere Dortmund came back from 0-2 down to Bochum to put themselves 3-2 ahead, only to throw it away after a late goal and an even later penalty. In the European places Freiburg are holding on to fourth but Leipzig play tonight and will leapfrog them with a win.
Moving south, to France where... you know what? I just have zero interest. I'm sorry! Last year was exciting with Lille winning the title but this year the most interesting stuff has been off pitch. That's not to say there aren't great players and great games in Ligue 1, it just doesn't trigger any passion in me the way the other leagues do. Maybe that's because I've never settled on a French team? Maybe I should do that. Open to suggestions that aren't PSG.
Now to Spain where Real Madrid secured the league. Yadda yadda, snore snore, BUT, it did mark Carlo Ancelotti's clean sweep of championships across all the major leagues. France, Germany, England, Italy, Spain. And he of course celebrated in style.
Elsewhere Barcelona finally won again (though it's not actually that bad, it just feels it, their last five league games are WLWLW) with a fit again Ansu Fati making an appearance at Camp Nou to rapturous applause.
The fight for European places is, as with everywhere else bar England and Italy, now the main focus of the league with the Europa League/UCL 5th and 4th spots being tightly contested by Betis and Atleti with Sevilla and Barça's spots not a mathematical given.
OK, let's jump on a train and pop over the border to Italy where we actually still have a title race. On Wednesday Bologna managed to spoil Inter's run by beating them 2-1. This left Milan two points ahead and playing first on Sunday. They left it late against a decent Fiorentina side, with Rafa Leão scoring in the 82nd minute. For a hot minute they were five points clear and half of the city found themselves diehard Udinese fans for 90 minutes. Unfortunately Inter were able to prevail and won 2-1. This leaves Mian ahead by two points. Both have similar run ins with mid-to-lower league opposition so it's likely to take Milan slipping up for Inter to pip them.
As for Europe, Roma stumbled against Bologna only managing a 0-0 draw so they remain in the Conference spot although they could manage an automatic Europa League place if they win the Conference this year. This leaves Lazio in the Europa League place (though presumably they'll be demoted to the Conference if things remain as-is and Roma win it?) with the Milan teams, Juve and Napoli in Champions League contention.
Last but very much not least, we take a plane over to England, to see what's up in the Premier League.
It started on Saturday with a lacklustre Liverpool winning 1-0 against a determined Newcastle. It was a feisty match. Joelinton was On One (he wasn't the only one this weekend) and there were a few flare ups but still Liverpool pulled it out of the bag with the solitary goal, a real beauty, from Naby Keita.
In a relegation six pointer Burnley won against beleaguered Watford after they took the lead and Everton shocked a sluggish and angry Chelsea by winning 1-0. Azpilicueta seemed especially annoyed, raging at all sorts, though not the fans this time.
This sadly leaves Leeds in real danger (on goal difference) after they were pummeled 0-4 by Manchester City. They yet again had to deal with nasty injuries, with Stuart Dallas breaking his femur (honestly how solid must Jack Grealish be?!) and Liam Cooper falling before the game even began, leaving the feisty Mateusz Klich to come in in his place to give me my favourite midfield combo: Koch and Klich. I just really don't want them to go down.
This win also put Manchester City back at the top of the table. City now have Newcastle, Wolves, West Ham and Villa, while Liverpool have Spurs, Villa, Southampton, Wolves. It's so hard to predict. Any of those on their day could pull it out of the bag against either team but you also can't see either slipping up. Could it be down to Villa on the final day? Could Stevie G's team be the one to hand the title to Liverpool?
In the European spots I saw a tweet today saying that Arsenal can't finish below sixth so whichever flavour it is we're guaranteed European football, which is astonishing, astonishing, given the start to our season. The fact we ground out a result against West Ham yesterday (with Rob Holding scoring his first ever Premier League goal) also speaks to our progress, we can win ugly and keep winning. Leeds, Spurs, Newcastle, Everton are our remaining fixtures and phew, we can win them all but will we?
That's all for this week in the round up. We've got more European football this week, United v Brentford tonight and then in a twist there's no early game on Saturday so we start with the 3 o'clockers on Saturday with Liverpool Spurs a late night kick off. Gorge on it while you can!
Kick Off
Finally, I find a way back into the meat and potatoes of formational, tactical and positional information that this section was supposed to be.
I've been hearing a lot in the past week or so about the "low block" and I realised I didn't know what it meant. Is it literally what it says, or, as is probably the case, is it something a bit more complex than that? Let’s investigate together!
So to start with, a "low block" is sadly not blocking the ball with your ankles or overzealous use of the draught excluder in set-pieces. It's about defending deep in a compact style to stifle the other team and try to stop them getting space to move.
Atleti under Diego Simeone, José Mourinho parking the bus, Sean Dyche's Burnley, basically anyone who defends deep can all be said to be proponents of the low block.
It can be a method that reduces creativity and movement on the pitch and while often effective, it's not usually attractive to watch. By keeping compact and forcing opposition attackers wide you trust your defenders to block crosses and thump the ball away. It reduces creativity because by being forced wide and crossing, teams have little space in midfield to build up attacking play and put together attractive passing sequences or clever runs.
The likelihood is that by playing a low block the opposition team will also have more possession as the intention is to break on the counter when you've drawn everyone to your end of the pitch, leaving the opposition end exposed.
A note to say that while I can read this and understand it don't worry if you can't notice this on the pitch. I'll be smug for about an hour for having learned this but when I sit down to watch United Brentford tonight the chances are I'll be oblivious to any tactical play and will be distracted by nice passes or shenanigans (OK yes and Eriksen, this was a bad example). The best way I can think of to visualise it is that everyone is on strings and being pulled this way and that like one homogenous being. Sometimes football analysis on e.g. MOTD or MNF does this, though usually just in lines, and it makes it much clearer.
Football 'eritage
I've written about this before (though I can't find in which issue) but to honour his retirement from Sky Sports after 25 years and his general status as a football legend and outright National Treasure, I once again give you Chris "I thought they were bringing a sub on" Kamara's finest moment.
The {Offside} Thirst Trap
Over the past two years I’ve come to find Leeds United an appealing prospect. This wasn’t always the case. We know they’re Dirty Leeds, their fans can be awful, their social media can be awful (the way they pilloried Karen Carney, repulsive) but the team? I’ve become extremely attached to them and all their ridiculous haircuts. So I’m nervous for them. I don’t want them to go down, I want their chaos and their fight and Jesse Marsch’s enthusiasm but perhaps more importantly I will be bereft if I lose Mateusz Klich from the Premier League.
This crush has crept up on me and walloped me round the head and now? Now I’m all in. He’s hot. He’s got amazing tattoos. He’s funny. He’s feisty on the pitch. He’s active on Instagram and recently posted some Polish hip hop, which, being the simp I am, I clicked on and really enjoyed. He drinks beer and eats massive pizzas. An all round perfect inductee.
A quick added extra here. We're at the semi final stage of the Thirst World Cup of Premier League Managers so do register your votes!
Merch Stand
Literally nothing to do with football but come on. Guesses on how much I'm going to spend trying to get a Kermit and how many Janices I'm going to end up with...
Milan, after their last launch of that repulsive half dipped weird special edition jersey, have pulled it out of the bag with this classy recycled pre-match top. Very nice.
Extra Time
Football stands with Ukraine? I think? Does it?
More non football, but as someone with many mediaeval creatures tattooed on my person this made me both laugh and right click+save for future use...
Schalke player loses his voice with hilarious consequences
This is a really beautiful article about what Christian Eriksen means to Brentford fans.
Eid Mubarak to any Muslim subscribers! This post from Versus explains how football is changing to accommodate Ramadan.
This should probably be in the Thirst Trap section but we can only have one entry a week so here we have all-timer Hector Bellerin in a new photoshoot for the magazine dsection. (Do click through as it's a thread)
It's David Beckham's birthday today (Monday) and while he's disgraced himself with his Qatar ambassadorship we can still appreciate his, um, qualities
That's it for this week! Don't forget to vote in the World Cup. Tell you friends, your family and that guy at the station you always see on the way to work that they really should subscribe and most of all have a lovely rest of the week.
Until next time!
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