Wildest Dreams (Mikel's Version)
Kick Off
Club football is back back BACK and my god I’m relieved🙏🏼 There is something to be said for the international break but also, no.
Additionally, it means that you don’t have to read a nonsense concept newsletter, we’re back to the normal format and the normal level of nonsense.
As I always ask, where to begin?
I think we have to start with a brief foray into the women’s game and the UWCL quarter finals on Wednesday and Thursday. Barcelona Barcelona-ed and thumped poor Roma 5-1, winning 6-1 on aggregate and Wolfsburg drew 1-1 with PSG giving them the win after their 1-0 victory in the first leg.
I was at the Emirates for the Arsenal game to watch a commanding performance from the gals, turning over the 1-0 loss to Bayern in the first leg to win 2-1. This was thanks to goals from Stina Blackstenius and a worldie from Frida Maanum.
Her reaction to watching it back with Manu was delightful
This set up another German tie with Wolfsburg for which I already have tickets. It’s on May Day Bank Holiday (1st May, time tbc) and if you can/would like to do come along. Until Tuesday tickets are just £9 for adults, going up to £12 after that and I guarantee you’ll have a great time, the atmosphere last week, even in the pouring rain, was fantastic.
If Arsenal aren’t your thing (weird but OK), we have alternative English representation in the semis in the form of Chelsea, who made an astonishing and controversial comeback after Lyon overturned their 0-1 deficit from the first leg scoring a goal in extra time, that added to their 0-1 lead to the 90. However, with the literal last kick of the game (see below), Chelsea were awarded a penalty.
Cool as you like, Maren Mjelde converted and took the match to, well, penalties. Chelsea went first and… Mjelde took the first one. Now if that doesn’t take guts of steel I don’t know what does.
Saves of both Wendie Renard and Lindsay Horan’s penalties by Ann Katrin Berger put the Blues through. Just six months ago AKB informed the world that her thyroid cancer had returned having lived cancer free for four years. She battled that and was the hero of the night.
Chelsea now play Barcelona, who beat them in the Final two years ago and are by far the best team left in the competition. It’s going to be a good set of games whatever the outcome (you can never truly predict knock out football) and you can get your tickets for the home leg, being played at Stamford Bridge at 12:30 on the 22nd April, here.
Sticking with the women for a moment, let’s talk briefly about the WSL (please refer to all the usual places for more in depth coverage of this).
This season we have a capital letters TITLE RACE on our hands. And not just between Chelsea and A N Other but a four way one.
On Saturday United kept up their momentum with a 0-4 win over Brighton which meant it was essential for Chelsea, Arsenal and City to get a result. Only Arsenal and City were playing each other. You can see the issue here.
Chelsea played the late game and got their result, a 0-3 win over Villa so what happened with Arsenal City in the lunchtime kick off?
It started well for City as they took the lead via Bunny Shaw after just five minutes. That was the score that took us into half time. After the break Arsenal picked up their play and the unstoppable Frida Maanum got their first goal after 62 minutes. This was followed by a rocket of a goal from Katie McCabe on the 74th. Let’s not forget that Katie left the Champions League game on Wednesday in a support boot.
(I love this photo!)
Arsenal held on and after the Chelsea match are now in third, Chelsea second and United top by just one point. Arsenal and Chelsea also have a game in hand. We’re going into an international break now and then the WSL resumes on the 19th April.
So then, The Men. Fresh off their exploits with their NTs or their holidays in I dunno, the Maldives, Dubai, New York or wherever else they ended up, they were back to the grind this weekend.
Ligue 1, La Liga and the Bundesliga all had games on Friday (all draws weirdly) with the Premier League and Serie A joining in on Saturday.
We’ll whizz through Ligue 1 and say that PSG lost to Lyon and are on 66 points at the top with both Lens and Marseille on 60 with nine games to go. PSG have been erratic this year, so could we possibly, maybe, see a different champion for the third year running? Wouldn’t that be great!
In Spain, Barcelona cruised past Elche 0-4 with goals from Ansu, Ferran and a brace from Lewandowski. Real also won, thumping Real Valladolid 6-0 which included a six-ish minute hattrick from Benzema, who would also have been fasting for Ramadan. These results leave Barcelona 12 points clear at the top and pretty much Champions Elect.
Speaking of Champions Elect, on Sunday evening Napoli hosted current champions AC Milan in Serie A.
It was an absolutely breathtaking game with some beautiful football played. Just… not in the direction you might have expected. Napoli have been astonishing this year, one of the most entertaining, technically wonderful teams. Not on Sunday though, oh no. Milan found something from somewhere and utterly dominated the game, running out 0-4 winners, with barely a chance to be had for Napoli.
The goals, every one of them, were incredible, each one showcasing impressive team movement and individual brilliance.
Leão opened the scoring with a lovely chip over the keeper (I don’t know why there isn’t official BT footage of this one ¯\_(ツ)_/¯):
The second from Brahim rolled wonderfully along the roof of the net and down:
The third, Leão again, proved what a stunning player he is on his day:
(It also induced both me and the Milan admin to tweet exactly the same thing)
And the fourth was just the filthiest run from Saelemaekers💦:
I have no doubt this will be a light blip, that Napoli will 100% still win the Scudetto but as a Milan fan who was expecting a lacklustre performance and the score to be the other way round it was a brilliant way to end the weekend and gives me hope that maybe there’s a tiny chance they might do something in the Champions League.
This result, along with Inter losing to Fiorentina, has pushed Milan into third. Lazio are probably secure in second but Roma are biting at Inter and Milan’s heels and even Atalanta aren’t far behind. It’s one to watch!
Last stop in Europe then is Germany for the Bundesliga and, oh god do I have to??? [Literally not, this is my newsletter I can put in and leave out what I want]
So yes, the Bundesliga. Saturday saw Thomas Tuchel’s first game in charge of Bayern, der Klassiker of course, against my guys Dortmund. Eesh. It was 4-2 but that does not give you the whole story. I blame myself, I got excited that Gregor Kobel was back and then he lost his mind for Bayern’s first goal. All the footage on Twitter has been removed so find it yourself, I saw it and I have to remember it. That’s quite enough. The horrific opener was followed by a Thomas Müller brace and a Coman goal.
I don’t think anyone would have ever doubted that Bayern were going to win that game, Nagelsmann or no, so while Tuchel is a shrewd appointment I think we can put Julian’s sacking down to more than the “crisis” of being a point behind Dortmund and second in the table, as they have very easily swung themselves back to the top spot. It’s still tight though with just four points between the top 3 and the likelihood of Union getting Champions League Football is just brilliant.
Finally then, the Premier League. Let’s start at the end, or should that be two endings? Both Brendan Rodgers and Graham Potter parted ways with their respective clubs on Sunday. These departures make the 22/23 season the highest for managerial sackings and it’s not even over yet.
This leaves us with only eight clubs who haven’t made a change, and of those, realistically only Steve Cooper could be in danger of not finishing the season.
I think it’s telling that all of these teams have benefited from successes and/or stability and performances perhaps over and above what they should have expected (OK not Liverpool but Jurgen is Jurgen). Even Forest, who seem, as mentioned, the most likely to drop from this list, are sitting 15th and are probably(?) safe and staying up in their first season back in the Prem for decades.
With Nagelsmann now jobless and the likes of Pochettino, Luis Enrique and even Vieira available, who knows what the managerial roster for 23/24 will look like. What we can guarantee though is that some of the same old faces will definitely rotate into different jobs in the league.
So what did it for Brendan and Graham?
Leicester have been poor for a long time and Rodgers should probably have gone a long time ago, but a last minute loss against Palace and ‘new’ manager Roy Hodgson, from a winning position, seems to have been the straw that broke the camel’s back.
For Graham Potter it’s also been a long time coming to be frank. He never really fitted in at Chelsea, never got the incredible squad of players connected or purring and despite their success in the Champions League, they now sit 11th in the Premier League after a loss to Aston Villa in which all the stats but the most important (goals scored) went in their favour. He leaves the club with these final words.
Props to Villa though, they scored two lovely goals, opening with this one from Ollie Watkins who did what I always yell about and chipped the keeper
And then they followed up with this thunderbastard from John McGinn
It was a weekend of goals, with the most goals being scored on a Saturday so far this season. I want to talk about three more games but of those I don’t mention you can see the results here, including the frantic 3-3 between Brentford and Brighton in the race for a European spot.
Of the remaining games to talk about I first want to, briefly, touch on City v Liverpool. Liverpool took the lead after 17 minutes via a lovely Mo Salah effort and then… well then it all went to shit and the mood in my joint Liverpool and Arsenal household was gloomy. Liverpool were just awful. They’ve lost so much of their mojo and it’s difficult to know how they’re going to get it back, which they will because these things are cyclical, it’s just hard to live through the troughs while you wait for the peaks. City on the other hand were of course absolutely fine without Haaland, as we all knew deep down they would be, no matter how we tried to convince ourselves otherwise and came out 4-1 winners.
This left it in Arsenal’s hands to provide a response and despite all my fears which are enhanced and enormous and will be until the end of the season, they managed to respond perfectly.
I was able to find a way of watching about half an hour of the match and was lucky enough to be watching when Jesus won the penalty to open the scoring. It was definitely a penalty and he scored it with aplomb.
After the break the lead was almost immediately doubled by goal machine Ben White [fact check: he’s score two (2) goals for Arsenal now]
The third was another goal for Jesus and yet another assist for Trossard.
Finally, assisted by Captain Ødegaard, my darling Xhaka got the fourth, a goal he promised his wife Leonita for her 30th birthday <3
The result keeps Arsenal eight points clear at the top, until City play their game in hand at least, and they just need to keep up this incredible momentum. Please. I beg. My nerves can’t take this nine more times.
To round off the weekend let’s go up to St James’s Park for Newcastle United vs. Manchester United: The Revengening.
We all know that after the Carabao Cup, in which it can’t be argued that Man United weren’t good for the win, Newcastle were after some kind of revenge/redemption/whatever you want to call it.
It remained goalless in the first half, although it’s fair to say that Newcastle had the rub of the green (I was half watching and looking through a timeline of the game to refresh my memory there’s not a single mention of a United chance in the first half) and then, 20 minutes into the second half, Joe Willock scored a really beautiful team goal. Here it is, although it doesn’t start early enough for me as the passing and movement in the build up, before it got to this stage, was fantastic.
United did not play well after this and the game was all Newcastle’s, again, as someone who was also making dinner while it was on, it didn’t feel like they really had a hope. The game was then put to bed by Toon favourite Callum Wilson, heading home in the 88th minute.
I know from speaking to Newcastle fans how much this victory meant. Not only was it the aforementioned revenge/redemption but it put them into third, leapfrogging United. I’ve also seen some accusations from rival fans that they celebrated too hard, that their actions were ‘small time’ and honestly, as a fan of a club who is regularly policed for their celebrations I say this: fuck off. Enjoy enjoyable things! You get one life and if you have to spend it tempering moments of joy then what the fuck is the point?
I’ve chosen to leave it out this week, because I said what I needed to on Twitter, but over the international break so much of the ugly side of football reared its head that we should be happy when good, pure, things happen to our clubs. I totally understand the bitterness and the anger when you’re on the losing side but come on, don’t pretend you wouldn’t act the same. It’s pathetic, it’s tribal nonsense and it makes you look ridiculous.
And on that note I think we’re done! Everton and Spurs play tonight, Spurs hoping for a New(sort of) (Interim) Manager bounce whereas Everton will be hoping to haul themselves out of the relegation zone. Then we start with the next round of games leftover from earlier in the season with matches every day through to Thursday (although that game won’t be televised).
We’ve also got cup action in Germany, Spain and Italy with the quarter finals of the Pokal and the semis of both the Copa del Rey and the Coppa Italia. Finally we have the women’s Finalissima to look forward to on Thursday between England and Brazil at Wembley. A bumper week of football to enjoy!
Half Time
With the return of club football this week I want to talk about one of the most contentious ongoing issues in the game: the 3pm blackout.
In short, the 3pm Blackout means that broadcasters can’t show live games between 2:45pm and 5:15pm on a Saturday. And it’s Burnley’s fault:
The ban also extends to foreign matches, therefore whichever league is currently held by (usually) BT Sport will join the 5pm GMT/BST kick off “in progress” at 5:15pm.
I mention this because it’s cropping up in conversation again as the Premier League rights are up for sale next year.
I feel like I’ve had an evolution on this topic. Initially I very much agreed with the traditional stance. It felt sacred and, let’s be frank here, normal. It was just the way the game was. Of course, thinking anything is sacred and normal without giving careful consideration as to why that is and why it should continue to be is the road to an ugly conservatism that we know eventually morphs into full blown bigotry and hate.
So yes, things absolutely can be sacred and untouchable but not a rule that’s only 60 years old that fails to take into consideration the myriad ways people can and do get around it, the way the game has evolved since it came in and the minimal effect changing it would surely have.
People support their club regardless, whatever level their club plays at. Yes the Premier League offers glamour and world class players etc. etc. but showing Everton v Southampton at 3pm on a Saturday isn’t going to stop fans of Burnley, Plymouth Argyle, Charlton or Sunderland going to see their team live. And let’s not forget that grounds have limited capacity. Maybe someone (me) desperately wants to see their club (Arsenal) live but can’t get tickets (fuck you Ticket Exchange!) and would love to watch it on TV (it helps with the nerves during the run in) at home or in a pub and not have to rely on round up shows (especially ones that involve Robbie Savage) to tell them what’s going on, which, in my experience makes it out to be neither as good nor as bad as it turns out to be, so why not let them?
Clubs could charge for season or game passes to watch their matches live, they don’t necessarily have to be on TV, though that would be nice, meaning the thousands of fans in the country who can’t or don’t want to go to a game could watch it live and not on a dodgy stream that only gives you ten minutes of game time and is three minutes behind anyway.
It’s wild to me that something that would actually create income, jobs and interest in the game is regularly dismissed but hey, it’s football, it’s the FA, the Premier League and the Football League, when was there ever logic there?
Full Time
Friday was Trans Day of Visibility and Counter Pressed had this important discussion with Natalie Washington of Football v Transphobia about the realities of taking part in sport when you’re trans.
Some lovely scenes on TDoV
Amazing story from Zinchenko re. how he proposed to Vlada
More Zinny greatness
Katie McCabe doing Katie McCabe things
Buddy Cop movie with those two when?
Arteta confessed to having ‘very wild dreams’ after the Leeds game…
Arsène Wenger and Sir Alex Ferguson were inducted into the Premier League Hall of Fame on Wednesday.
I loved this. I wouldn’t have even flinched or cared if he’d said “boys” but noticing him make the effort to stop himself and say “people” was lovely
Quite the stat. Dread to think what the comparison is for Watford…
Kai Havertz launched his charity this week and well, this is just very cute. He also gave this delightful interview to the Guardian for the launch.
Support this if you can
Bodied by the article this week about the guy who ‘went cold turkey’ from football after deciding that spending 25 hours a week dedicated to it was too much.
Shirt of the Week
It’s that time of year when we start seeing rumoured designs for next season’s shirts (Arsenal’s is so meh) but I’m not going to talk about any of them, for this week we celebrate/lust over/cry that we can neither fit in to nor afford adidas x Gucci. The new collection is everything I want from clothes. Colourful without being zany, fun but still classy, sporty and casual but still cool and stylish enough to dress up and wear out.
No, this isn’t just me weeping over fashion I’ll never have, it’s here because the new collection was launched with the help of Alessia Russo, Rafael Leão, Mapi León, Trinity Rodman and Mo Salah. And fuck they look great.
For me, as someone who is larger than an XL which is *checks notes* a size 14 (wtf high fashion??? Get a grip!) I’ve got my eye on this £2110 beauty. No I can’t afford it. But. BUT.
Of course, just to annoy me when I had this section written last week, Nike have today (Monday) released their kits for the Women’s World Cup. They’re… fine. They’re mostly plain, not really a huge amount of interest bar a couple but I also don’t mind them. None are hideous.
Nigeria’s jacket however is absolutely banging.
Thirst Trap
He’s 22. His tattoos are awful. He’s got 90’s curtains. His head is a weird shape. He fucked over Arsenal for Chelsea*. I cannot justify this in any way. I have no excuse. I can’t even say it’s just one of those things because apparently women don’t look at someone and think they’d like to fuck that person.
So why have I got a massive crush on Mykhailo Mudryk? Why did I squeak when I saw he was starting on Saturday? I don’t even normally like blondes (Martin excepted). Make up your own mind. I know I won’t be alone, message me privately and we can start a support group 🤝
*we actually thank him for this
And that, is that. UK friends, it’s Easter this weekend and most of us have four glorious days off work, everyone else yes, you get Easter too but possibly not a long weekend? Either way, make the most of it, grab those joyous moments, eat that chocolate egg, celebrate your team’s wins if you get them and don’t let anyone judge your choices!
One final thing! I’m a whisper away from 900 subscribers, which is tantalisingly close to 1000 so please, tell your friends, share on Twitter, put a link in the Group Chat, just share! I will be forever in your debt if you do :) <3
Until next week, adieu!