World Cup Special #2
Today is the third Monday of Qatar 2022.
I’m back at work after two weeks off, during which I watched 43 full games of football and at least glanced at seven others. The only one I’ve fully missed to date is Japan v. Costa Rica because I simply could not get out of bed.
In the previous edition I gave my thoughts on the first week, up to and including England’s dire match against the USA. At that point things still felt weird and uncomfortable, mostly down to there not being that much classic football being played.
Since then, however, things have ramped up. The final games of the group stages provided high quality drama, pretty much across the board, and brought me what I’d been wanting - a Twitter timeline full of people shrieking, jumping for joy and holding their breath in unison. That’s what tournament football, or indeed any football, is about, the communal experience.
Of course, we also mustn’t forget some of the reasons why this still isn’t and hasn’t been the full communal experience we all enjoy. Many people have felt unable to travel to Qatar simply because of who they are, many are still boycotting the tournament for these reasons. Pundits and journalists are getting sucked into the sportswashing and are posting glowing reports about what a wonderful experience they’re having and talking without caveats about how beautiful all the stadia are.
I’m not going to pretend I also haven’t been sucked into it all to some extent and felt a sense of some relief that last week provided us with such fantastic footballing moments, which is why I think it’s important for me to check myself regularly and be reminded why this is such a controversial World Cup. I admire the people who’ve been relentlessly pushing this and will continue to listen to and promote their activism and to do what I can to help.
Kick Off
So, what of the football* itself? What have we learned and enjoyed over the past week?
As always, for any serious tactical analysis I suggest you go elsewhere but if you want to hear about some of the other stuff, come this way…
*I mean there’s a small [big] chance here that I mainly mean footballers
The Format of the Group Stages Shouldn’t Change
For the next World Cup, in North America with 48 teams, FIFA are threatening to play 16 three team group stages, with the top two going through. Just, no. No. The last games of these four team group stages were some of the most thrilling football played so far in this tournament. I’ve just scrolled back through my timeline and most of the time I couldn’t tell you exactly what was happening, it’s just a series of garbled all caps yelling. Which is exactly as it should be.
We Need More Of This
That’s it. More female officials. Why not ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Football IS Politics, Despite What These People Say
Arsene Wenger, Granit Xhaka, Rob Page, Eden Hazard, Gary Neville [less about Qatar protests, more about Rashford], John Barnes and many more should shut the fuck up.
Cho Gue-sung
Ladies and gentlemen: him
Jude Bellingham is an icon, a legend, and the moment
Jude. Jude Jude Jude. What can I say about him. He’s just an incredible young man. He’s nineteen, NINETEEN! and yet he’s so assured, so mature, so confident in his skills and his place in the team. His play is breathtaking, his first goal a true gem, his assists wonderful. In case it wasn’t apparent, as I tweeted yesterday, I love him with my whole heart.
He also knows how to send the world wild with transfer speculation:
Mbappé Has The Best Celebrations
And is also one of the best, if not the best, footballers playing today.
But For Now, Giroud Has That Dawg In Him
He did it. Last week he equaled Thierry Henry’s France goalscoring record and this week he passed it and claimed the title for his own.
Jules Koundé Is A Baller
He played nearly a full half wearing a gold chain. However, when it was spotted and he was made to take it off, France scored almost immediately. There’s a lesson here.
A Thirst Trap Of Sorts
I’ve already mentioned Cho Gue-sung but there have also been a few other notable hotties to mention:
Luke Shaw
It’s been bubbling for a while but I am a full Luke Shaw stan now. He so cute and he so thicc. Even when a bird is shitting on him.
Hossein Hosseini
When the first choice Iran goalie had to go off in the England game with a head injury, a nation of thirsty bitches cheered (and also hoped he was OK, we’re thirsty bitches not bitchy bitches) and welcomed Hossein Hosseini onto the pitch.
Lucas Paquetá
The man can move😮💨
Mbappé/Giroud
Come on, if you thought I was going to get through a newsletter without including this you really don’t know me very well ;-)
Merch Stand
While there were some incredible scenes involved in the group stages, meaning some unexpected teams qualified for the RO16, it did also mean we lost some beautiful jerseys, never to be seen. The biggest loss of course was Mexico’s wonderful away shirt, followed not too far behind, imo, by Germany’s beautiful away kit.
We were close to losing both Japan and Korea Republic’s stunning shirts but thankfully the football and fashion gods did at least allow these through:
I also want to shout out the Netherlands track jacket which I love, and which has been styled to perfection by ASOS
I can’t guarantee it but England fans, if you order today, you too could have your own Jack Grealish prayer candle in time to light on Saturday
You may also enjoy my semi-serious Football Fan Christmas Gift Guide
Full Time
A quick shout out before I go to the WSL which was back at the weekend. Chelsea beat poor, literally pointless Leicester 8-0 and Man United beat Villa 5-0 at Old Trafford. These wins see Chelsea top of the table and United second on goal difference. Arsenal eked past Everton 1-0 to keep them 3rd and Liverpool managed to overcome West Ham 2-0 which is a great result for the newly promoted side. In the remaining games, City beat Brighton 3-1 and Reading beat Spurs 1-0. Also don’t forget there’s UWCL on Wednesday and Thursday if you need something to fill the football shaped holes on those days. And if you want proper WSL discussion make sure you check out Counter Pressed which is really superb or if reading is your preference, sign up to Flying Geese.
As I said way way back near the top, if you want proper analysis of the games you should go elsewhere and one of the best places for it is the Stadio podcast. They’ve been doing sterling work so far this tournament with near daily updates, each providing a fantastic round up of the day’s action. Do also check out Wrighty’s House which of course is always great but also gives a brilliant insight into what it’s like on the ground in Qatar. If you’ve ever wanted to know what it’s like to go shopping with Roy Keane, this is the place to go.
Finally finally, here are some things that have amused me this past ten days or whatever it’s been:
Rylan has been a great sport throughout with these
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
And so there we have it. I haven’t even mentioned Martinez leaving the Belgium job (apart from that tweet above), Pulisic’s balls, anything more than a picture of the protestor on the pitch during Portugal Uruguay, nor Neves giving him Portugal’s support after. There was also Sonny crying, missed penalties galore, the ‘was the ball over the line’ [yes] controversy, Jurgen Klinsmann shitting the bed about Iran, Aboubakar’s red card, was it CR7’s goal? [no] and so much more. It’s been eventful!
Until next time, enjoy the rest of the RO16 and the first quarters and see you next Monday!