Wow
Honestly, take your pic of songs for this one, my choice would be one of these
Kick Off
They say a week is a long time in politics, but it’s even longer in football. Last Monday I was in a pit, I was miserable, football was awful, there was spite in the air and everything felt shit. I wasn’t sure football was my place of joy anymore.
Now I wouldn’t normally talk much, if at all, about the games that happened in the week be they cup games, European games or… Monday Night Football.
But I can’t in all good conscious keep quiet about Spurs Chelsea.
Because of the aforementioned funk I chose not to watch the game from the start, instead watching Only Connect, which I love and was good fun. But then Twitter (look, I know even the BBC are calling it X now and that is its name I guess, but I can’t) exploded, firstly with Kulusevski’s 6th minute goal:
Then with several offside goals, yellow cards, potential reds and general chaos. I felt my fingers twitch towards the remote but stuck to my guns, yelling at the TV in the Missing Vowels round instead of at Chelsea’s ineptitude.
I turned over when mid-VAR check on Raheem’s goal and Romero’s foul on Enzo and felt moved to apologise for ruining the vibes as I was certain there would be no more drama. How wrong I was.
Romero saw red. Udogie saw red. Nicolas Jackson (Nicolas Jackson!) got a hattrick. Spurs played an 8 man high line.
Of course Chelsea couldn’t just chill out after that and play out a quiet little 0-2 loss against City at the Bridge; couldn’t just relax so I could continue my bit of ‘City won’. No they had to go and be exciting and chaotic which is frankly rude, leading us into the International Break with a 4-4 draw.
It was an exhilarating game, paced beautifully for drama, with something happening every time you’d resigned yourself to the result going one way or the other. And 22 players remained on the pitch!
Also not resting on their laurels and giving us a dull game (well, at least not at the very end) were Spurs. They took the lead quickly against Wolves and it seemed like all the panic about injuries could be put to bed as Wolves failed again and again to finish any of their chances. But maybe that was more to do with Wolves’ inefficiency in front of goal than it was Spurs’ ability to defend (although I have to say I really rate and like Vicario), they are an extremely frustrating watch!
But! With seven minutes of stoppage time and one minute of that played super sub Sarabia, who had been on the pitch moments, scored a goal of glorious beauty.
Then, on 90+7, the most wondrous time for late goals, Mario Lemina added the winner and Gary O’Neill lost his shit.
Obviously as an Arsenal fan this was great to witness but I also have a real soft spot for Wolves and am happy that they finally got a win they deserved.
Elsewhere on Saturday United did it again (scraped a 1-0 win) against Luton, Everton beat Palace at Selhurst Park and we beat Burnley 3-1 with goals from Trossard, of course, plus Zinchenko and Saliba, sealing victory after Burnley had temporarily fought back.
In the 5:30 Bournemouth beat a leggy and careless Newcastle 2-0, then on Sunday we had three “secret” games (untelevised) which saw Brighton draw with Sheffield United who have finally crawled off the bottom of the table, a rampant Aston Villa convincingly beat Fulham and Liverpool beat Brentford 3-0 despite Darwin scoring two offside goals.
The 2pm kick off that was on TV may, at face value, have been a game you could snooze through, but it provided an excellent precursor to the Chelsea City game, warming us all up with lots of goals and excitement. West Ham eventually came out the winners with goals from Paqueta after just 3 minutes with additions from Bowen and the winner from Souček in the second half.
Forest fought back well and scored just before the half time whistle with a goal from Awoniyi and then a lovely goal from Elanga in the second half, with an even better celebration, that saw him not only rip off his shirt but also his training bra. It was delightful to watch Sangaré tidy up after him and hand him back both items. But alas, neither goal was enough.
So we go into the international break with City at the top of the tree but only by a point, with Liverpool and Arsenal snapping at their heels.
Over in France, Lyon finally won a game! Other than that it was business as usual as PSG went top after Nice failed to beat Montpellier on Friday and they beat Reims on Saturday.
In Spain, Barcelona conceded to Deportivo Alaves after 18 seconds but managed to pull it back and win 2-1. However the story of La Liga right now is Girona, who sit top of the league and indeed top of the league across all of Europe’s Top 5 in the combined league. Definitely worth keeping your eye on them to see if they can sustain this form.
In Germany and Italy both of my idiot son teams (Dortmund and Milan) dropped two goal leads with Milan drawing against Lecce and Dortmund throwing it away completely against Stuttgart.
Leverkusen remain top of the Bundesliga and Inter the top of Serie A, with my boys fifth and third respectively.
Speaking of Inter, Federico DiMarco scored this amazing goal last night in their game against Frosinone. You can keep your half way line strikes, the sheer audacity of being almost on the touchline and attempting this is my new favourite.
Now, I don’t normally talk about the Scandinavian leagues but the Swedish league concluded yesterday with FULL ON DRAMA.
I’ll leave it to Nordic Footy and FotMob to explain:
And in Norway, Bodø/Glimt won, which is neither here nor there really but I follow a teddy bear on instagram who’ll be very happy.
Finally, finally lol, it’s been a long one, I want to mention Arsenal Women. I’ve not said too much about the women’s game this season so far as I feel sometimes like my knowledge and occasionally my enthusiasm is limited, despite still going to games at the Emirates. However, yesterday’s comeback against Leicester was of such epic proportions it cannot be ignored.
It started in the first half with two goals in two minutes from Leicester, Jonas looked haunted (and somewhat like he still hadn’t properly removed his Halloween make up)
But whatever he did at half time worked. Two goals in two minutes? Two can play at that game Leicester. Bam! Cloé Lacasse. Bam! Alessia Russo. But wait? There’s more? Bam! Caitlin Ford. Bam! Victoria Pelova. Bam! Stina Blackstenius. Then finally, on 90+8 in a game with a minimum of 10 minutes time added on, BAM! MY LOVE LINA HURTIG WITH HER FIRST WSL GOAL!
And that, my friends, is it for an epic week of football, and I didn’t even mention Europe, the Seville Derby or the Rome derby!
Half Time
Content Note: conversation about poor mental health
On Thursday Burnley released the following statement about their player Lyle Foster.
Last week I was in a bad place, not a terrible place or a place where I was a danger to myself or anyone else, but I was down, miserable, and I wrote about it. I had a few people reach out to me off the back of it and off the back of a tweet I did in a similar vein and firstly, I want to say thank you so much for your kind words. I actually felt better very quickly so of course felt guilty for this and embarrassed, but one of the messages stuck with me, from someone who thanked me for being honest and open about my feelings.
This is why I thought it was pertinent to mention Lyle Foster today. We don’t know the ins and outs of his struggles but we do know that he’s being open about going through something and that his club are being supportive and respecting his wishes for privacy. I tweeted this at the time but Burnley do seem to be a decent club and I actually really rate their owner, Alan Pace, he comes across as one of the good guys.
That aside, as the DM said, we should thank those who are and continue to be open about their poor mental health and the effects this has on their lives. This is especially important in football which, even with some of the great strides we’ve taken over recent years, continues to be a space in which men and boys are expected to be strong and stoic and in control of their feelings at all times (even if they can’t even control themselves on the pitch!). It’s not a failing or a weakness to have poor mental health and we should support and help those who do.
If you’re struggling with your own mental health, not in immediate danger and you’re in the UK you can visit the Hub of Hope website and find local charities that can help you with whatever it is you’re going through from general poor mental health to that caused by anything from bereavement to addiction to LGBTQ+ issues and everything in between. I should say that I am often extremely cynical about these things but having recently attended a Mental Health First Aider course which encourages use of that site I was genuinely impressed by the breadth and depth of the resources available.
Full Time
We start with a blast from the past and this beautiful moment from 2010.
On Monday, Paul Merson predicted Chelsea would beat Spurs. On Saturday he predicted Wolves could get something against Spurs. On Sunday he said he’d take a draw in the Chelsea City game. Maybe it’s the CBD gummies and oil he’s been peddling (which I’d have no comment about were it not that they are also being peddled by Matt Le Tissier) but fair play Merse and fair play for these tweets.
And staying with Spurs Chelsea for a moment, this tweet made me absolutely lose my shit.
I’m sure there are some extreme wrong ‘uns among the fans of Everton as well as some lovely folk among those of Palace, but this is still very funny.
Good footballing activities, to steal a phrase, from FC København before their UCL game against United this week.
There’s no particular meaning to this really, I just saw them on the touchline and this tweet sprang to mind and made me laugh.
I cried a little bit at this reply to my tweet about Kai Havertz and his lack of goals.
I mentioned above that Burnley are a good club and I loved this little explainer from their signing announcement of Marley Leuluai
Some Tweets With Videos You’ll Need To Click Through To See:
Nick Pope’s Dad is absolutely lovely
God tier pettiness from Alianza Lima in Peru
Cole Palmer, who I have accused this week of having zero personality, has done something funny and channeled Alessia Russo looking at the German’s tactics in the Euros Final last year.
44 penalties between Ballymena and Coleraine.
More very funny Nicolas Jackson slander
Simply adorable from the wonderful Lotte Wubben-Moy
Finally, for the lower league fans, a superb Bryan’s Gunn for you
Shirt of the Week
Again we forgo a shirt for a streetwear collection, this time Adidas’s Federations Football collection. There are some great pieces but it’s the Beckenbauer jackets I really love. These beauties are for Spain, Mexico, Sweden, Argentina, Italy and Belgium and I love them all but especially Spain.
Thirst Trap
Recently, Chelsea have had the monopoly on [Premier League] hot goalkeepers in my opinion. Yes, yes, Alisson Becker exists, but I hate to tell you this, he does nothing for me! So Chelsea: Edouard Mendy, Kepa Arrizabelaga and now Robert Sánchez.
Of course I noticed him at Brighton, look at him, but until now he’s managed to swerve having a entry in the Thirst Trap Hall of Fame. Well no more, here he is in all his smouldering glory. And let’s be honest, he’s not a bad keeper either.
Well there we have it. Another week, a step, or perhaps even a stride back to finding joy from football again, it’s been a good one for sure, full of so much distilled Barclays that I’m sure the Government are currently drawing up a white paper to make it a banned substance.
We now have two weeks where after moaning that I hate football and I wish I could quit it, I’ll be wandering around rooms like a hybrid Narcos/Tarantino meme not knowing what to do with myself, watching trash TV (Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is good this season) or true crime (I’ve done S2 of the Murdaugh Murders and now I need to do Last Stop Larrimah).
But yes, enjoy whatever you have planned for the next two weeks, may or may not be an edition next week and then I’m out of action the week after so it’s possible I won’t be back until December. And you know what that means: CHRISTMAS FOOTBALL GIFT GUIDE.
So until then, take care and I’ll be back soon!